Tales from the Sick and Demented Cheyney Fam

The Infamous Black Jesus Picture

In case any of you don't know, I am a PK. A Pastor's Kid. In high school, I might as well have had leprosy with a title like that. I lost a few friends when they found out. Everyone seemed to know. But that's a story for another day. Maybe it was some of this built-up angst that caused me to do what I did one fateful day during my Senior year in high school. I found, at W@lmart, a portrait of Jesus as a black man with dreadlocks. The light beamed up from behind his head and the Bible He was holding. It was hilarious. I realize I don't sound at all PC here, so bear with me. I think its a pretty safe bet that Jesus looked nothing like the standard white boy with blue eyes and long hair that we see everywhere. But dreadlock Jesus just made me giggle. I shelled out some of my hard-earned cash (actually it cost a whole dollar, I think!) and bought the fine piece of religious art. And in my mind, I formed a devious plan. I would get up early, sneak into the church and hang the picture up in my Dad's office, right before all the old people piled in for the Sunday morning prayer meeting. That'd be sure to get them in a tizzy and I was pretty certain Dad wouldn't find it before anyone else. It would be almost as good as when Nate and I bought magnetic nose rings and walked into a dining hall filled with all Dad's fellow VM pastors. Ah, good times, good times. But I digress. I slyly executed my plan. As I had expected, Dad didn't notice right away. To tell you the truth, I don't even remember if anyone else noticed it that morning. But oh, how it made me laugh to have pulled that off. Little did I know that the Black Rastafarian Jesus picture would become a enigma in our family.

To Be Continued....