Sunday, March 30, 2008

Welcome to the Orange Palace

Check out these pictures of our new house:

We immediately fell in love with the orange-ness of it all. NOT! As soon as we got the keys, we went back and Jeff started ripping out the carpet. Anyone interested? It's up for grabs, and oh-so-enchanting! Underneath it all was a lovely layer of tile, and in the case of the kitchen, three layers of tile. Sweet! The carpet padding was so old and squished and brittle that it resembled crushed Fritos. Once all the lovely flooring was removed, this is what we had:

Jeff and Dad have been hard at work since then installing laminate flooring throughout the downstairs. So far, they have completed the kitchen, dining room, living room and hall. Only two bedrooms to go! I have been painting away. We still have a lot of work to do and need to move in ASAP so we can get the 'old house' fixed up and inspected, but it's coming along. Here are a few pictures of the progress:

Don't worry! The orange curtains are not happening. More pictures coming soon!

Friday, March 28, 2008

It's Official

We have the keys. It's a done deal. As soon as the kiddoes get up from their naps we are heading over to join Jeff and Dad in working on the house. Woohoo!

As a side note: Grandma and Grandpa! Send some of that nice upper 70 degree weather our way!! Or at least soak up some rays for us. We miss you guys! James was saying yesterday "Me have two dap-paws, Dap-paw Cheyney and Dap-Paw"

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Why, oh why, oh why...

This is what you get for not watching your kid every second. I guess he figured I didn't have enough to do. In the meantime, look what I found in the laundry pile:

Just kidding. I actually took this yesterday when I was packing. I might add the laundry pile makes an excellent nest for a wee babe!

Dinner Insults and James' Theology

"Yu-Tee, Mama"

That's what James said about dinner last night. Tasted fine to me, thanks. This is the first time James has ever actually told me his food was yucky. I am sure it won't be the last.

Another funny James-ism from yesterday:

James: Me in hospi-al, Mommy.

Me: Yeah, you were in the hospital when you were born, weren't you?

James: Jesus make me sick.

Me: No, Jesus didn't make you sick.

James: Jesus make me better.

Me: Yeah.

James: Jesus eats pizza!

And on a side note, tomorrow morning we sign our lives away, uh, I mean close on the house. I am looking forward to unpacking and knowing where everything is again.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Rachel's Latest "Confessions of a PK" Post

"...we were breathless from astounded laughter that the bible could contain such a collection of ooky sentiment. I mean, we know all about Jonah and Noah and how an egg is like the trinity, but never did we know about Mr. Solomon and his enthusiasm!"

To read the post, click here. It's a good one!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Random Kiddie News

Here's what the kids have been up to lately:

-James can count: 'one, two, fee, five, sitz!' Sometimes he even throws 'seben' on the end of that.
-Katie can actually lunge forward in an attempt to sit up and flop over her feet in the bouncy seat. Darn! That's not good timing, especially since we are on the cusp of moving and she can't really be left in her seat anymore. Oh, well.
-James likes to say 'Me watch sheeps eh-wee daaaaaaaay! Me wear see-belt eh-wee daaaaaaaay! Daddy wear see-belt eh-wee daaaaaaay!' He likes to add the every day part at the end of a lot of his sentences.
-Katie likes to 'talk' and squeal and communicate. She loves to 'sing' and dance in church when the music is going.
-James has been walking around for the last week with his 'special tooooos' and Daddy's tools, 'fitzin, Mama, fitzin.' The boy will 'fitz' anything, whether its broken or not.
-James loves to share his toys with Katie, and she loves the interaction with her brother. James likes to bring her toys and says 'Mama, Tee want that!' He likes to give her 'nuts' (Knucks) and high fives. If he wants a toy and knows he can't have it, he says 'Mama, Tee want that. Tee neeeeeeeeeeds that, Mama!'

Monday, March 24, 2008

A Quasi-Franch Tale: California Style

Shhhhh….don’t tell anyone, but I used to live in California. It is not one of the eras in my life upon which I look fondly. I prefer to look at it as merely a blip on the radar, albeit a six year blip. I made sure to get the heck out of Dodge as soon as I turned 18 and headed off to college. I never acclimated to the culture there and have no desire to ever go back. That being said, I do have a few stories from there. While we did not live in an agricultural community by any means, it was a small town. Even now, the population is just at 1500 people. We lived in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains, and were surrounded by pine and oak trees, large boulders and manzanita bushes. There was a little creek running through our property and beside it was a stand of willows. One afternoon whilst out exploring, we spotted a buck sleeping in the willows. This was unusual to see in the afternoon. We often saw the tell-tale patches of flattened grass, indicating where deer had slept the night before. Never had we seen a buck sleeping so late in the day. We were excited at our discovery and decided to see how close we could sneak up on the buck. We edged closer and closer. We couldn’t believe our luck. The buck didn’t flinch as we got within a few feet of him. It was about this time when we realized the buck was dead. We weren’t as sneaky as we thought. From what we could determine, the deer was probably hit by a car and limped off into the willows. It was very exciting to be able to check out a buck up close. Almost as exciting as the time we climbed up on the fence to watch through the neighbor’s garage window as he butchered a deer he had shot. Anyway, we were one part disappointed and two parts excited at our discovery. We planned to wait for the deer to decompose and then we would claim the antlers. We thought that would be a pretty cool trophy. We checked quite often at the decomposition of the carcass, and one day we were disappointed to find that a coyote had taken off with our prize. I guess that’s the way it goes.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Houston, We Have a LEASE!!!

We have, in our grubby little paws, a signed lease agreement! The people we used to go to church with long ago came through. They are very excited to be moving into our house and we are very excited that things will all work out and we won't be living under a bridge. Even though we had the signed lease as of Wednesday, I didn't believe it was true until...

We got the MONEY! That's when I knew if was all for real. It means that indeed, it is not a mirage. I can see and hold the check in my hands. And put it right into the bank. Anyhow, we have a lease. That led to some relief, and also mass anxiety. Having a lease means that we are actually closing on Friday...less than a week away. We were stressing out because we had to do the following all in one week:

-Have the chimney and heater inspected, cleaned and certified
-Spackle and paint in every room
-Paint the laundry room
-Do a bunch of little and not-so-little repairs around the house
-Did I mention packing?
-Do all the work that our realtor is NOT doing
-Get the place inspected and acquire proper rental permits
-Bla, bla, bla....and oh, yeah! The kids still need to be loved and fed and read to and held and squeezed too.

Sounds like a rip-roaring good time, right? Yesterday, we had the chimney inspected and...hallelujah! The chimney passed. The guy said that 98% of chimneys FAIL. Thank the Lord ours didn't. I think I might have sat down and cried. The second fabulous thing that happened yesterday was that Mom came over and helped. We got my beloved lettuce bathroom (AKA Spider bathroom, Jenni :) painted, cleaned and ready to go. We also got quite a bit of stuff knocked out. The nice thing about having Mom around (actually there are lots of nice things) but one of the nicest is that the kids love her and she loves them. She can rock Katie to sleep and play with James, and they get a little extra TLC in the process. And the third great thing that happened yesterday, and brought my blood pressure down 200 points and added years to my life, was that the family who is moving it told me not to stress about getting the house ready by the first!!!! They said they haven't even begun to pack and won't be in here till mid-April. That was a huge relief, to say the least! I still want to get it ready ASAP, because I don't want to have to come back here and clean when I have painting, unpacking, etc. to do at the new house.

I realize that this has become one of the most rambling, boring posts ever. Who really comes here to read my to-do list anyway? I promise that soon enough I will stop blathering on about renters and chimney certifications and life will go back to normal. Now if only I could get my kid to stop saying 'Daddy live un-ner bidge, Mommy live un-ner bidge, Kee live un-ner bidge.' Note to self, don't say things when you're stressed out in front of your kids. They will repeat it incessantly and make you feel like an idiot.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Jesus, where are You now?

...continued from yesterday.

The Jesus picture was not to be forgotten. In fact, it is still making the rounds amongst the family, or is it? A few months after hanging the picture in Dad's office, it appeared hanging in my room. I kept it for a while before hanging it up downstairs. It went on like this, and when I moved back to Colorado, I found it in my boxes. On a visit home I managed to deposit it back where it belonged. Rasta Jesus traveled with Mom and Dad across the country when they moved here from California. He's quite a well-traveled chap, that Rastafarian Jesus. I think I forgot to mention somewhere in there that He stowed away in our wedding gifts. At one point, I snuck into Dad's office at PBU and hung it in his office. Its been back and forth quite a bit. Most recently, Dreadlock Jesus has been at Dad's house, waiting to be passed around. I keep wondering when and where He will appear. Then, things got mysterious. Very mysterious. Dad had mentioned stashing it away in Rach and Phil's stuff. That would add a new dimension to the Jesus-swapping. They had not yet received the high honor of having Him in their home. But! There is a mysterious twist. The whereabouts of Dreadlock Jesus have been called into serious question. My secret informant (who will remain unnamed for his own security and join the witness protection program for good measure) informed me that Jesus is forever entombed in the wall of our bedroom, along with the infamous Deep Purple record album poster. What!? How!? Why!? Can it be? According to my source, Dad had an evil plan to slip it into the wall before Jeff drywalled over the very last spot in our never-ending remodel project. This would effectively end the ongoing adventures of Dreadlock Jesus. What a tragedy! But...the question remains...where is Jesus? Is He in the wall, or in Rach and Phil's stuff? Was the story about hiding Him in Rach and Phil's stuff merely a red herring to throw me off the trail? Or was the story about hiding Him in our wall a fraud? The suspense is killing me! What do you all think? Where is Jesus? Dad....feel free to leave a comment and solve this thing once and for all. Everyone else, take the poll. Jeff is always nagging me to put up polls, even though he doesn't even read the blog. So, what do you think happened to Jesus?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Sweet James

Yesterday Katie was starting to cry. I was in the kitchen and James told me, "Mama, Tee sad, mama." I said "Yeah, Katie is sad, isn't she?" And James said "Mama, Tee nee-you!" (Katie needs you!) How sweet is that?

Tales from the Sick and Demented Cheyney Fam

The Infamous Black Jesus Picture

In case any of you don't know, I am a PK. A Pastor's Kid. In high school, I might as well have had leprosy with a title like that. I lost a few friends when they found out. Everyone seemed to know. But that's a story for another day. Maybe it was some of this built-up angst that caused me to do what I did one fateful day during my Senior year in high school. I found, at W@lmart, a portrait of Jesus as a black man with dreadlocks. The light beamed up from behind his head and the Bible He was holding. It was hilarious. I realize I don't sound at all PC here, so bear with me. I think its a pretty safe bet that Jesus looked nothing like the standard white boy with blue eyes and long hair that we see everywhere. But dreadlock Jesus just made me giggle. I shelled out some of my hard-earned cash (actually it cost a whole dollar, I think!) and bought the fine piece of religious art. And in my mind, I formed a devious plan. I would get up early, sneak into the church and hang the picture up in my Dad's office, right before all the old people piled in for the Sunday morning prayer meeting. That'd be sure to get them in a tizzy and I was pretty certain Dad wouldn't find it before anyone else. It would be almost as good as when Nate and I bought magnetic nose rings and walked into a dining hall filled with all Dad's fellow VM pastors. Ah, good times, good times. But I digress. I slyly executed my plan. As I had expected, Dad didn't notice right away. To tell you the truth, I don't even remember if anyone else noticed it that morning. But oh, how it made me laugh to have pulled that off. Little did I know that the Black Rastafarian Jesus picture would become a enigma in our family.

To Be Continued....

Monday, March 17, 2008

Katie teaching Jeff some of the finer points in Chemistry


Quite possibly the most delicious picture ever!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

It's The Final Countdown...............

Soon, hopefully in the next day or two, we will know how all this madness is going to end. We have a rental application in hand from the family we used to go to church with. They really want it, so we'll see how everything works out. Yesterday we had two really strange sets o' people come through here. What else is new, right? This guy came through who was a little sketchy to say the least. He sat out in his car looking in for about ten minutes till Jeff went out and waved him in. Then he said he was meeting 'some lady' so he didn't want to look at the house yet. I thought it a little odd that he was meeting 'some lady' he didn't know to look at the house with him. He sat on the very edge of our couch and talked to Jeff. As he talked, I started to figure out that the 'some lady' he was waiting for was me. I don't know what his deal was, but he was confused. I told him I was the one who talked to him on the phone and that I could show him around. In the process, he rambled on about how the reason they have to move in such a hurry is that his girlfriend is losing her house. Always a nice touch when trying to get someone to rent their house to you. He explained how she had an adjustable rate mortgage that kept creeping up, and he finally decided not to pay it anymore. He said to me, quite like it was not a problem, 'You wouldn't believe how quick it is to save money when you quit paying on your mortgage.' To this I replied, 'I bet it's amazing how quick the bank gives you a call too when you quit paying.' He said they don't waste much time. Gee. I wonder why. So him/his girlfriend are getting the boot, and he wants to move in here. By the end of the tour, which was as quick as I could make it, he had also disclosed that he had gone through bankruptcy seven years ago. He also has a dog. When I gave him the application, I noticed that he was shaking really bad. A friend of mine was right when she said that we'll be lucky if we can find a tenant who can pass a UA! ;)

In other news, check this out:

Could it be that spring is around the corner?! The first official day of spring is Thursday, and you know what that means? Free water ice at Rita's! And, if you plan it right, you can hit at least 4 locations within an hour and get yourself a free water ice at each one! Mmmmmm.....

Saturday, March 15, 2008


Phew! Saturday was a long day for us. We started out early, with our first appointment at 9:00. We had ten appointments scheduled and eight showed up. Simply astounding! Here is a sampling of the characters for today:

-A guy, his nephew and his son who is going to beauty school. We don’t think he’ll be interested.

-A gothic-looking couple with a little girl. They looked, took an application and didn’t ask a whole lot of questions. They don’t seem promising at all.

-A couple with a cat. Enough said.

-Two friends that want to move out of their apartments and into a house. They said they would bring their application back today, but alas, they did not.

-A crack-head who has, and I quote, ‘two kids and a woman.’

Oddly enough, everyone seemed to be possessing all their teeth and everyone spoke decent English and only one guy twitched a lot. Can you guess which one he was? And no Section 8!

In strange twist in the rental drama, we had some people email us this week about the house. I put two and two together, got five, and realized that they used to come to our church. They had moved away a few years ago and it turns out they are moving back to the area and really want to move in to our house. At the current time, they are the most and only hopeful prospect, so things just might work out after all. It should be interesting. If everything goes well with them, we will be packing up and moving all in less then two weeks! YIKES!

Friday, March 14, 2008

I love it when James says:

Wuv you, mama! (Love you, mama)

Tee want this, mommy (Katie wants this, mommy)

Tee, weeeeeeep up, tee! (Katie, wake up, Katie!)

Tee seeping, Mommy! (In a VERY LOUD voice: Katie sleeping, Mommy)

Daddy fixin' (Daddy is fixing something)

Chee-chee pie, home soon (Chickie-Pie, we'll be home soon) Hmmmm...wonder where he heard that one from?

Daddy have sup-bull, mama (Daddy has a shovel, mama)

Dammy, Dap-paw's house, pees?! (Grammy, Grandpa's house please?!)

There go, Mama (There you go, mama)

No, mines do it! (No, I'm gonna do it myself!)

Row-tones, laaaayer, fi-tuck (Road cones, ladder, firetruck)

Soo Bus Mommy! Bee Sool Bus! (School Bus, BIG school bus!)

Daddy, home safe. Pray Daddy home safe! (Pray that Daddy gets home safe)

H-Murt (H-Mart)

This is not an exhaustive list of the wonderful pronunciations of James, but I figured I had better get a few words written down for posterity!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Get Your Hooves Off Our Crabapples

I’d say it’s time for another Franch story. Maybe it’ll make me forget the people calling to ask if we will rent them our house even though they are going into bankruptcy and own fifteen poodles. Anywho, back to the Franch. This story predates Jeff, so sorry for those of you…Danny and Eric….who like the ‘Jeff and Meg dates from the farm’ stories. I promise there are more to come.
Just down the road from our house growing up, there was a park. I use that term loosely. There was a big triangular area of grass, with an old-fashioned red-white-and-blue bench merry-go-round at one end. Unfortunately I cannot find any pictures to share with you, so I'll try to describe it. There was a concrete birdbath and bench sitting under a tree. There was a picnic table at the other end. Near the merry-go-round, there was a crabapple tree, which provided endless hours of entertainment. We would pick them, eat them, throw them, and come up with all kinds of other clever uses for them. We had this park all to ourselves. Rarely did any other children play there. It was pretty much our park. Every month or two in the summer, someone would flood-irrigate the grass and the well underneath the merry-go-round would fill with water and we would ‘ski.’ We’d get it spinning as fast as we could, then hold on with our arms as our feet glided across the water. We would climb up the frame onto the top. Everything moved more slowly, and it felt like we were on top of the world, or at least the Loma Park. I have lots of memories from that park. In fact, it was even where Jeff took me to ask me to marry him!

It was in front of the park where the school bus would pick us up. We would walk down the road (
uphill both ways, by the way) and stand next to the ditch and wait for the bus. To give you a little background, periodically when we would leave home for the bus, we would find a stray horse or two grazing in our yard. The neighbor’s horse had the skills of Houdini and could unlatch the gate. So seeing a stray horse, we always assumed that it was Sam’s. Sometimes we’d chase it back in that general direction. That said, it was no surprise to us when we found a horse nibbling away at the crabapple tree in the park one morning. As we waited for the bus, we shooed and shouted at the horse. He was too interested in the crabapple tree to pay us any attention. We continued to pester the horse when lo and behold, a cowboy stuck his head out from behind the tall grass and pushed his hat out of his face. He looked at us like a man who had just woken to three shouting, laughing children trying to shoo his horse away. I think he was startled, but we were even more startled! We had no idea why a man was sleeping at the park with his horse tied to ‘our’ crabapple tree. We climbed onto the bus and spent all day wondering what was going on. When we got home, the man was sitting in the park on an Indian blanket spread out on the grass. He had his saddle laying out, a bedroll (seriously!) and a big buck knife. Once we saw the buck knife, we quickly decided it was not time to make friends. We had already given him an early morning wake-up call. We didn’t want to test our luck. We headed home and asked our parents what he was doing there. Apparently, he was just some guy heading across the country on his horse. He would sleep wherever he knew someone, and he happened to know someone nearby. After that, we curiously watched him from a safe distance. No sooner had he rode into town was he gone again. He'd probably laugh to know that we still remember his mysterious presence in 'our' park.

Sesame Street: The Rap-isode

In some strange boost of creativity I have written two whole blog posts for today! Here is the second one:

James has officially discovered Sesame Street. He watched his first episode wrapped in his lion towel staring at the TV with wonder. Watching it reminded me that my favorite characters were Slimy and Snuffleupagus. Don’t laugh. They were my favorites! It’s strange how little it has changed. I swear some of it is the very same footage I watched as a kid. If you pay attention, you can see that the clothing styles are from the 80’s and 90’s. I was lost in reminiscing when a segment came on where the kids started spelling R-A-P. Rap! The kids all started to rap and dance. I know that rap was beginning to have its heyday in the 80’s, but I don’t ever remember rapping with Elmo. Or Slimy for that matter. What have they done to Sesame Street?! Next thing you know they will have Jaime Fox on there singing his little heart out. Oh, wait, he was there singing his ABC’s right next to two fluffy creatures. Next thing you know they will have Shakira on their teaching kids how to dance. And that, my friends, is where I would have to draw the line.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Jeffro Goes Green

File this one under the 'I can't make this stuff up' category. Jeff informed me last night, in all seriousness, that if we get the new house he will be getting a stationary bicycle to put in the garage. Since his current exercise regime consists of mouse-clicking and typing, this is probably a good thing. But of course, Jeff just can't let things be. Why waste energy by simply riding the bike? Why guessed it...harness that energy?! He is planning to wire a light bulb up to the bike so that as he pedals, the bulb will light up and keep him motivated to keep going. But we still wouldn't want to waste good time and energy exercising and powering a light bulb, so Jeff plans on reading his Bible while riding the bike. As he said, he'll be pedaling his way to Spiritual Enlightenment and Maturity. And of course, everyone on their path to Spiritual Maturity needs some good background music. Jeff plans on, if possible, also powering a radio with his morning pedaling. He plans on either a) playing a continuous loop of Tina Turner or b) Def Leppard's 'Pour Some Beer On Me' (the Jeff version). What do you think? Sounds like the ultimate Spiritual workout to me.

Pedal away, Jeffrey!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

This is totally random, but.....

A) hi ,my name is kia, my husband and i are very interested in viewing this property please feel free to e-mail us back with a date and time.
thank yon in advance

B) I called six, count them, SIX grocery stores yesterday trying to find someone who carries frozen rhubarb. No one has it! Why, oh why, is this stuff so hard to come by!? Phil, just know that I was going to try to find some for your birthday, but alas, it ain't gonna happen. Unless, that is, the brief rhubarb season happens before your birthday. Whenever it is, I think I am going to buy at least one metric ton of the stuff so we'll have enough to last the year.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Quite possibly the most bizarre scenario...

Yesterday after church, we got a call from a real estate agent asking if she could bring her clients over to see the house. Sure. Why not? Spending our entire afternoon cleaning AGAIN would be a blast! Since we are getting down to the wire with no hope in sight, we need to get as much traffic as possible. A whole passel of people showed up, including the agent, the lady who would be renting, her son and his fiance/girlfriend and their baby, and a girl who was either a daughter or grandkid. The lady very boisterous/animated/outgoing/loud/crazy. She was missing her front too-fiz. She was, in the truest sense, a piece of work. Like no other. It seemed from the moment she wanted in that she just 'luuuuuuuuuvvvved this house!' 'Oh, I am in luuuuuuuuuv with this house!' 'Oh, it is perrrrfect!' Then, she would turn to me, grab my arm (every 12 seconds) and say, 'Don't ya luuuuuv me? Don't ya think I'm a nice person? I deseeeeeeeeeeeerve it! Don't ya think I deseeeeeeerve it?' She also said, in no particular order, 'I'd make a great naaaaaaaaaaybor! I'd plant little flowers. I'd be perrrrrfect!' And again, 'Don't ya like me?' It was very strange to say the least. She is, and I use quotes because people say this a lot, 'filling out the application tomorrow.' I think she probably will this time. But, who knows what the situation is. For one thing, I almost forgot to mention, while she and her hubby have been together for 20 years, they are each getting their own place. She also mentioned that it was her husband's birthday, and that he bought her furniture for his birthday, so apparently they are still all lovey-dovey. Right now, they are living in the GHETTO. Case in point: the fiance/girlfriend's brother was shot and killed on Saturday. We had just read about it, and here this girl is sitting in our living room. So, you see, this is how our weekends go. Clean the house like mad, at least once, and wait and see who, if anyone show up. And when they do, you never know what you're going to get!

Saturday, March 08, 2008

James: The Culinary Aficionado

Auntie Rachel, you'll be proud to know that your little nephew is turning into an adventurous foodie. This morning, at James' request, I made waffles. Actually, I made pumpkin waffles. I sliced up bananas over the top and drizzled them with honey. Quite tasty if I do say so myself. After tasting a few bites, James requested ketchup for his waffles! Although it sounds gross to me, I let him try it. He ate a few bites and liked it so I put ketchup on the rest of his waffle. Didn't you know that pumpkin waffles with bananas, honey and ketchup are all the rage in fancy restaurants these days? Mmmmm....delish! Anyone want to come over for breakfast?

PS. For the record, Rach, and please don't disown him, but James apparently hates marshmallows. He takes one bite and then hands it back to me and says 'no tanks, mommy.'

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Today was officially Empty Out The ENTIRE Contents of _____ Day.
Somehow, James has managed to:

a) Empty out the entire bottom shelf of the linen closet so he could hide in it

b) Empty out the contents of his cup onto the table and floor

c) Empty out all the bins on the bottom shelf of our closet, including all my shirts, James’ shirts and pants, and my pants, onto the floor and mixed with the dirty laundry

d) Empty out the entire cedar chest so he could ‘seep in air’ (sleep in there)

e) I know there is more, but my brain is drawing a blank. Despite how is sounds, I do supervise my kids, but those little buggers are quick! And sometimes, when they are entertaining themselves, its just easier to let them play. Good thing he's learning to clean up too!

And to top it all off, when James went into the coat closet to hide, he came out with his feet looking like this:

I looked at his feet and, though I was pretty sure what he had on his feet, checked to be sure. 'Paint, Mommy' James confirmed. So, needless to say, I had to empty out the entire contents of the coat closet to find this:

Sometime in the last few days, one of our paint cans tipped over and the lid came loose and spilled. Fortunately, not too much was ruined. Well, besides the carpet. But it's in the closet so I am not too worried. I also noticed, when I was scrubbing paint off my nose, that I have a nice new crop of white hair growing in right in front. Flippin' sweet, as Nappy Dynamite says. Despite all the nonsense that went on today, it was a good day. We went over and took a nice walk with Grandpa. We had waffles for dinner. All in all, it was a good day. And now I am going to bed!

Hey, Mom! I'm hiding!

Check out the drool!

Do I have something on my face???

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

One, Two, Figgies!

Having kids provides good comic relief when you have MORE renters NOT SHOWING and bills for 'surgical procedures' from the pediatrician for putting stuff on your kid's bellybutton with a Q-tip. I received a bill from our pediatrician for 'removing skin lesions' for Katie. Since she has never had anything of the sort, I called the office. They informed me that they had done a 'procedure' on her bellybutton. This procedure, commonly known as simply swabbing the umbilical cord, was billed out as a surgical procedure and charged to the insurance company for $90, on top of the charges for the 'well baby visit.' I was incredulous! I kept telling the lady it made no sense. $90 to swap a bellybutton. Its not like I asked them to do it. I just asked when the thing was going to fall off, and she volunteered to swab it to help it along. Now, since my insurance company only pays 90% of surgical procedures, I have to pay 10%. It actually only comes to less than 4 bucks, but its the principle of the matter! It's ridiculous! I called the insurance company and they told me that although it is RIDICULOUS, they technically can do it. I was and am very annoyed. Then, to top that off, we had a lady scheduled to turn in her application last night. Of course, Jeff was gone and it was right at the kids' bedtime, so I kept them up thinking I would put them down right after she left. I had the house is pretty good order and everything. I waited. And waited. She never showed or called. Argh, matey! That brings me to the title of this post. It's a good thing I have James to make me laugh. His new game is 'one, two, figgies' also known as 'one, two, feeeee!' This game involves taking James by a leg and an arm, counting to three and throwing him onto the couch. He loves it. He wants to play over and over until my arms are ready to fall off. 'Figgies' is a new word he made up by combining feet and piggies. So in the midst of all the chaos that is my life right now, I can always stop what I am doing for a rousing game of 'one, two, figgies!'

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Ode to Cr@ig's List

Cr@ig's List is apparently the online hangout for people who missed English class for 12 years in a row. I would like to pay homage to them by quoting their eloquent emails here, with personal information removed. I have done no editing. They are direct quotes.

hello is this property still available if so how much security deposit
where is the location also do u have any pics may be interested

Good name is **** who is currently resides in Northeast Philadelphia as a Section 8 recipent. I am looking to move into the Bucks County area....My lease is up in August..I have the option to renew it, my landlord and I have a very good relationship. I am curious to know if this particular house is available to this program and if you know of any??Thank you in advance,

Ms. ***

I would like to see pictures and get the address to the home you have for rent on Craig's list.

I am looking to move into a 3 to 4 bed room home with in the next week.

any photos available ????????

What appliances does this house come with? thank you for your help

Landlord, Do you have any more information that you can provide? Pictures, Address, School District? Would you consider selling doing it as rent to own, where we could purchase it a few years down the road? Thanks in advance

Monday, March 03, 2008


Now that James has learned to pee in the pot and sleep in his 'big-boy bet,' he is unstoppable! Somehow in the midst of this newfound independence, he has learned a phrase echoed by children around the world in one way or another: 'No, mines do it!' He makes it clear he don't need no stinkin' help. It is the equivalent to my brother's famous phrase 'Dit my own dumball!' He also adamantly proclaims 'mines truck' and 'mines boots.' Dad, have you been teaching him 'What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine'? Even Katie's things are 'mines,' although he doesn't mind sharing them with her. In other kid news, Katie is trying her darndest to sit up. She has actually sat up in her bouncy seat twice! I think it was a fluke so far, but she is getting so much stronger. She is rolling over a lot, although she still can't get back over. She is smiling, laughing out loud, and as Mom says, 'talking with her eyes.' Sometimes her and James play together and while it looks like he is mauling her, she is laughing out loud. It's really cute.

That's about all on the home front today. I can't really come up with anything as witty as a poll about undies. Maybe tomorrow. If you're lucky.

Here are a few recent pictures. Rach and Phil, do the kids look bigger than last week?

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Your Little What?!?

James has started using the term sister. Prior to this, he understood as well as a two-year-old can what it meant, but never really used the word. Well, now he has. The problem is that this term of endearment came out as 'shitter.' How sweet. James would sweetly lean over, give Katie a kiss and proudly proclaim 'mines little shitter.' Fortunately, after a day or two of using this newfound vocabulary word, he has honed in his pronunciation and has whittled it down to 'sitter.'

In renter news, yesterday we had only two appointments scheduled. One of them showed up. The good news: we got our first application AND their application fee! (Which means they're serious) The bad news: it doesn't appear that a) they have a clue what they are trying to get into and b) they could begin to afford it. They have never rented before and the lady just lost her job. They have two kids to support and have lived with family all their lives. Another guy who was supposed to bring in his application showed up empty-handed and said that it just wasn't going to work out. Two additional people called yesterday afternoon and came by. One couple looked at the kitchen, asked what school district it was in, and turned right back around to leave. The other guy who came to look at it doesn't seem to us to be too hopeful, since they would have to pull their daughters out of Pennsbury school district to move to our dreaded Bristol township. Dang school districts! We are back to square one, still looking for renters. I half-jokingly told a few guys at church last week that if they had any legitimate friends to send them over to rent our house. They both scratched their heads and said 'No, I don't think I have any legitimate friends.' All we need is just one family!