Do They Sell Repellent For That??

Something is a muck in the neighborhood. Something in the air. First it was the groundhogs shacking up under our shed. After dealing with so many of them, I determined that there must be something highly attractive under our shed and dubbed it 'the Groundhog Love Shack.' Yet after observing recent (unfortunate) events, I believe it goes beyond the shed. Apparently there is something emanating from our house that attracts amorous behavior. For the last month or two, the neighbor kid's girlfriend has been parking in front of our house. We have been subjected to a few of their extended good bye kisses, if you get my drift. Then, yesterday, I about lost my lunch. I looked out the back window to see the neighbor girl and her shaggy-haired boyfriend enthusiastically locking lips. This went on and off for no fewer than TWO AND A HALF HOURS!!! They conveniently placed themselves behind the shed so they couldn't bee seen from the parents. Who cares if the rest of the world can see you?! At least your parents can't! I actually had to keep James inside til it was over and told the kids not to look out the window. Seriously! Ick. Is there some sort of Teenage Make-Out Repellant we can spray around our yard? I don't want to live with my curtains closed. Jeff's suggestion? To yell 'Woooooooo!!!!!' out the window to cheer them on. He guarantees it will never happen after that.

Neighborhood Intrigue and Completely Unrelated But Fun Pictures

We love our neighborhood. It is friendly and quiet, and neighbors look out for each other. There are those who randomly try and drop off their kid at our door, and another we refer to as 'lingerie lady' due to her back yard attire (hello...chain link fence, not privacy fence!!), but for the most part everyone is great. Except for one neighbor, whom I will refer to herein as 'Morally Disabled Neighbor,' or MDN. I realize that is a harsh term to use, but seems how he brags about faking disability to get to the front of the lines at the amusement park. And how he is on life-time disability for a knee injury but rides a motorcycle all about, washes his car extremely thoroughly at least once a week, and chop down parts of the neighbors tree while he is on vacations. What?! Yep. You got that right. Our next door neighbors (NDN) have a feud going on with MDN going back a long way. Well, pretty much everyone has it out for MDN, but he is especially disfavored by NDN. Last year, MDN accused NDN of throwing a thorny chestnut at him over the fence. It ended with MDN threatening to 'come after' NDN and the cops being called. So, last week when NDN was away, MDN took it upon himself to a) blow all the leaves off his yard onto NDN yard, b) throw all the chestnuts from his yard onto NDN yard, and c) get out his ladder and chainsaw and hack away several branches off of NDN tree. Apparently he was pretty hard on the tree. The war is on, folks, and the NDN have decided that to get him back for his evil deeds, they have been putting out bread just along the edge of their property line. Bread as retribution, you ask? Well, MDN is an absolute spaz about keeping his car clean. When I say once or twice a week, I am serious. And not just a spray it off with the hose type thing. No, he washes the roof, the wheels, inside the gas cap, etc., then towel dries it. Rinse and repeat. Every other day or two. Its bad. So, back to the bread. Birds like bread. Birds like to poop. The neighbors are hoping that by attracting the birds so close to their driveway that the birds will shower the MDN car with, uh, 'well wishes,' or something like that. All I know is that its going to get worse, and while the bread thing is kind of humorous, its going to get ugly one of these days.