Ode to Cr@ig's List

Cr@ig's List is apparently the online hangout for people who missed English class for 12 years in a row. I would like to pay homage to them by quoting their eloquent emails here, with personal information removed. I have done no editing. They are direct quotes.

hello is this property still available if so how much security deposit
where is the location also do u have any pics may be interested

Good Morning....my name is **** who is currently resides in Northeast Philadelphia as a Section 8 recipent. I am looking to move into the Bucks County area....My lease is up in August..I have the option to renew it, my landlord and I have a very good relationship. I am curious to know if this particular house is available to this program and if not.....do you know of any??Thank you in advance,

Ms. ***

I would like to see pictures and get the address to the home you have for rent on Craig's list.

I am looking to move into a 3 to 4 bed room home with in the next week.

greetings:
any photos available ????????

What appliances does this house come with? thank you for your help

Landlord, Do you have any more information that you can provide? Pictures, Address, School District? Would you consider selling doing it as rent to own, where we could purchase it a few years down the road? Thanks in advance