Sunday, October 28, 2012

A Few Pictures

The kids packing candy bags for shoe boxes

James' Lego Wild West set-up

Complete with covered wagon

Those Lincoln Logs standing up beyond the horses are the forest

In other news, school has been cancelled Monday and Tuesday. So far we only have a little rain and wind, but tomorrow things are supposed to get hairy.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Farm Hands

Last night I stayed out til midnight, believe it or not, with my Bible study ladies. I have absolutely no energy left, but I thought I would give you a quick bullet list of all the kids did at Farm Hands today. It was pretty much awesome! 
  • Shelled pop corn by hand and by antique hand cranked harvester
  • Harvested pop corn out in the field
  • Checked out the ice house...amazing!
  • Made caramel corn
  • Herded sheep
  • Fed chickens and collected eggs
  • Pumped water
  • Herded chickens into the coop (this was hilarious to watch by the way)
  • Climbed up in the hay mow and jumped down into the hay, over and over
  • Helped with fire wood
  • Learned about an old egg grader
  • Pushed the manure spreader all the way across the barnyard 'without horses!!' as James reminds me
  • Learned a little about blacksmithing
  • Watched the barn cat hunt and capture a mouse
  • Learned about wood ducks, corn worms, caterpillars and Osage Oranges
James was in heaven, and I loved it too. Watching the look on his face for 3 solid hours was priceless. He ran everywhere he went, that sort of joyous happy run that comes from being in his element. 

Friday, October 26, 2012


  • Apparently we are supposed to get slammed with 'Frankenstorm' soon. I had no idea til my neighbor asked if I had stocked up on supplies. Huh? My other neighbor talked to a manager at BJ's who said that bottled water was flying off the shelves. People around these here parts tend to freak out whenever there is a weather warning. On the other hand, if it is as bad as they say it might be, it could be bad. The question I must ask is WHY does a major storm always come the week before I do my big grocery shopping trip, when the pantry is getting low? Hey, if Armageddon hits we'll be eating a whole lot of jam and frozen peaches.
  • James and I start Farm Hands tomorrow. Yay! We are both very excited.
  • Jeff takes the FE exam tomorrow. Yay?! I am not sure he is excited about it, but looking forward to have it over with. It takes 8 to 12 WEEKS to find out the results. Insane.
  • I can't remember if I mentioned this or not, but I spoke in front of a large group of girls last week about Operation Christmas Child. I do not do public speaking, but I somehow convinced myself that I could do it, especially since they are school age girls. Turns out there were 35 school age girls, and a half dozen adults, but I did it and I wasn't even that nervous. I shared with them the letter I got from a girl in Zimbabwe this summer and they thought that was cool. After I talked, I had them make a bracelet to send to the little girls who will receive shoe boxes. Now I have 35 bracelets to send! I am also planning a craft night in 2 weeks to make handmade gifts for the shoe boxes. Since I am new to this, I have no idea what to expect. I might be sitting alone and forlorn, talking woefully to my hot glue gun. We'll see. 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Last night I let James do part of his homework on the bathroom mirror. He had to practice his spelling words, so he wrote them several times with dry erase marker. He declared himself 'the luckiest boy in the whole school!' He asked if he could do number bonds and number sentences on the mirror. Of course! Then he told me to go out, because he had to write a secret message. This is what he wrote, shown to me in a fit of James-giggles:

Seecrit Mesij
I put a radl snac undr my Moms pilow and made her screm!

Creative writing at its best. The other day, he had to write a sentence using each of his spelling words, and illustrate one. He proudly wrote out 'Why does Mom have a beard?' and drew an illustration for that. I am sure the teacher was entertained that day grading papers.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Tyler, Sweet Tyler

We were at the store this morning and I was checking out. Tyler was in the cart and chattering away. I was not paying any attention to him. Next thing you know, things start to click and I realized what the little bugger was saying. Ever so matter of factly, he was telling the cashier that 'Katie have poop in her butt, and animals have poop in their...' and I cut him off at the pass. Thankfully the cashier didn't understand what he was saying, and I pushed the cart forward so he couldn't give her anymore helpful biology lessons.

In other news, Dad preached in church on Sunday. It was a superb sermon if you ask me, which you can listen to here. All week I had teased him about bringing my giant foam hand to wave around and yell things like 'Amen!' and 'Preach it, Brotha!' Shortly before the message, he looked so serious it was painful. He was in the preaching zone...Minister mode...the clergy cloud. OK, I'll stop now. Anyway, I wrote him a note on the back of a receipt and passed it over to him. He read it, smiled and went to pass it back. Then, he changed his mind and kept it. Mom and I looked at each other with an 'Oh, no!' look. Mom told me I was sunk. And she was right. Dad got up and said I passed him a note which read 'Dad, unfortunately I couldn't find my giant foam hand, so I brought my kazoo instead. I hope you don't mind.' And it felt just like old times.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Suitable Programming

At the risk of sounding like one of those 'when I was your age' finger-shaking curmudgeons, I must say that my list of suitable TV programming for the kids is shrinking. If it weren't for the fact that I like to take a shower in peace, I just might scrap it all together. However, it sure is convenient sometimes. We don't have cable, so that rules out just about everything. What is left is PBS, Qubo, and occasionally the Smile of a Child network. I have various beefs with these stations. Qubo is annoying, because every 3 minutes or so, there is an infomercial. These infomercials are selling two things: things your kids will beg you to buy and things that old people need, like scooters and life alert. I don't really know how those two things mesh, but whatever. All the commercials are annoying and I don't like my kids being assaulted by consumerism. Smile of a Child is a Christian channel, and I don't worry that they are going to see on there. It is simply a bunch of reruns of old-school stuff, including Superbook. However, there is this gentleman who does story time that leans forward and lectures the kids in a fire and brimstone kind of way, which is a little weird. I usually don't have to worry about this, because that station rarely comes in. And PBS, oh, PBS. I love PBS. I hate PBS. I feel like of all children's shows, theirs have the most propaganda. There are shows teaching children to tell their parents to Reduce! Reuse! Recycle! and to get all their shots, the flu shot, and heaven forbid you remove the stump from Sid the Science Kid's backyard, because it is a habitat. Dr. Seuss in the meantime, is imploring kids NOT to pick flowers, because flowers are somebody's home. I'm fairly certain that is communist or something. You can't pick flowers?!?! Hello! What do you think God put them there for?? Anyway, moving on. Beside these annoyances, there are several categories that I put TV shows in. They are as follows:

1. The Subtle Message Shows: Dinosaur Train (evolution), Sid the Science Kid (ultra enviromentalism, vaccines, etc.)

2. The Disrespectful Kid Shows: Clifford, Arthur (sometimes the kids are sassy and rude to each other or their parents which really annoys me. Also, after checking out an Arthur book from the library in which the 8 year olds play spin the bottle at a birthday party really turned me off to that)

3. Last, but not least, the SUPER ANNOYING shows. They include Barney and Daniel Tiger. Now, I realize Daniel Tiger is a derivative of Mr. Rodgers and it's probably un-American to hate it, but it is basically a preschool-themed cartoon musical. And if I hear the song 'If you have to go potty, STOP and GO right away...' one more time, well...I just might rip those bunny ears right off the TV. Looks like Daniel Tiger's on the black list.

That leaves Curious George and Bob the Builder. Can we fix it? Yes, we can!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

So Far, So Good

Day four of Katie's chicken pox and she is doing very well. I think she has a mild case of it. The pox are all over her legs and torso, but only a few on her arms and none on her face. She is such a trouper. She says they itch a whole bunch, but she is not itching them. Either she has a whole lot of will power or the Aveeno Calamine and Oatmeal stuff is magic. Maybe its both. Anyway, its not too bad. The jury is still out on Tyler. I figure he'll come down with it the day after Katie finishes her stint. It may be the month of cancelled plans. We shall see.

In other news, James is loving school. He can't wait to go in the morning. He is also coming home with lots of interesting pictures and number bonds on the back of his papers which tells me he is finishing his work early. Next week, he and I start the Farm Hands program at Howell Living History Farm. I am not sure who is more excited! The parents volunteer to help around the farm, while the kids do farm chores and learn about the workings of the farm. The program goes for 6 weeks.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Chicken Pox

So, Katie has the chicken pox...which I found out AFTER I had her in child care at church this morning. She has not been vaccinated for chicken pox. I had hoped that she would catch it naturally and gain immunity, otherwise she would have had the shot later in her childhood. I really didn't expect her to get it since it is becoming more and more rare. So, while I am not exactly excited to see my girl (and probably Tyler) miserable and itchy, it is what I had preferred. The doctor was very thorough and though she wasn't convinced that they were chicken pox initially, when she looked Katie over she decided it actually was. It was the first case she had ever seen. And NO, I will not be sending out any chicken pox lollipops.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


James brought home his first test this week. Test! A math test to be precise. Let me tell you, the boy loves math. LOVES it. And do you think he got that from me. That would be a big fat NO. But the test...there were 17 problems (or parts of problems) and he only got 1 wrong! They no longer give letter grades so the scale is different, but he got a 4 which is the highest, meaning my boy is ADVANCED in math. He can thank Jeff for that one. He is also enjoying reading and declared tonight that he loves school. Yay!

Katie the Crafty is at it again. She went to work on a plastic shopping bag, cutting a little here, a little there, until she proudly, and with a bit of humor, presented me with a bra that she made me. It was a wee bit ill fitting and not all that supportive when tried over my pajamas, but those details are trivial.

Tyler's latest hobby is to ride his tricycle full speed back and forth along the patio, making hair pin turns at the end. He will do this over and over and over again. Yesterday it was raining all day so I let him ride his bike in the garage. That was, until he crashed into the dryer one too many times.

Jeff has been having loads of fun studying for his FE exam. (Note the sarcasm there) Every night he sets the timer for 1 hour and works diligently through his practice tests and study notes. I even caught him cozy-ed up to his calculator manual. I thought those things were meant to be put away in file cabinets never to be seen again.

And with those updates, here are a few pictures from the last several days:

This is the Wendy's James built out of Legos. I was quite impressed. It has a patio with overhang, complete with lego hamburgers. The car could drive through and the interior had its own light and table.

On Saturday we went to Howell Living History Farm for their Fall Fest. I loved it! They showed you the whole process for growing wheat, from seed to baking as they did more than 100 years ago. This was a steam engine which was used to run the threshing machine. Tyler was scared to death of it.

The team discing the field after plowing.

Here is the steam engine hooked up to the thresher.

This is the thresher. The chaff went straight into the barn for animal bedding.

The kids got to grind wheat. Right after this picture Katie let go of the handle and it knocked her off the platform. Oops.

We walked out into the woods where the original homestead was and helped churn butter in the old kitchen. They had fresh bread, honey and butter for everyone. And we got to take home a bag of flour to make our own bread.

There were a ton of fuzzy caterpillars.

Hand holding on the way back. Can't beat that!

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Easily Amused

I have always wanted to catch a salamander. When we spent the summer in Oregon we caught newts, which are a little different. Since I found out we have salamanders here, I have looked for one with no luck. We were at a birthday party a few weeks ago and found out that they have salamanders at the creek. You better believe I left some perfectly good adult conversation to go turn up a salamander. It was so darn cute, I made Jeff take a picture of me with my catch!

While I Was Away

Here are some pictures Jeff took while I was in Florida. The first few are of the kids enjoying Jeff's famous French Toast. The others are from the hike they went on. Cute!!

Friday, October 05, 2012

The Epic Sewing Project, and Walmart: Afterhours

A few months ago I was at a yard sale and I hit the jackpot. A 1950's pattern for a boys' Davy Crockett costume. All the pieces were there, and in the (almost) right size. And I got it for a whopping 10 cents! While the pattern was pretty simple (and came with no instructions) it seemed like it took forever. I suppose cutting all that fringe didn't help matters. 

Recognize that shoelace, Grandma??

However, the boy is incredibly happy to have his very own duds...

Complete with a real coyote tail hat. What would we do without the internet, people? I ordered that tail for $6 and paired it with some lovely fake fur from Joanns and voila! A hat! I'm now taking orders.

I also ordered this beaded medallion from the same seller. Pretty nifty! 

So now the kid can hunt in style...

And he is one happy camper!

And now on to my Walmart adventures. Last night I went grocery shopping after the kids went to bed. I generally try to avoid the Super-W on nights and weekends. There is a reason, after all, that there is a website devoted solely to 'the people of Walmart.' Alas, we were out of just about everything and I could wait no longer. Naturally being later in the evening there was a mixed crowd, but nothing too scary. As I was leaving,  I used the important life skills Jeff has imparted to me to spot a drug deal in the making. There were two guys in their late teens walking a little too close together. They were definitely violating the obligatory "I'm not gay" man-distance. If two girls were walking close together you would think nothing of it, but when two guys are walking shoulder to shoulder its a little weird. The one guy subtly but a bit too enthusiastically reaches over to his buddy and they made the 'exchange'. In his rush, he dropped the goods: a tiny little wadded up bag of 'the stuff'. Of course he picked it up really fast and they kept walking. It was at that moment that I really wished I had one of those signs the judges hold up to give ratings. I would have loved to rate the subtlety and finesse that (didn't) accompany their deal. If I were to rate it, I would have given them a '3'. Started out well enough, but an over enthusiastic hand-off resulted in a fumble which is not advisable when swapping illegal substances. It's not like they were swapping halves to a best friends necklace after all. Then I thought I should said 'Oh, let me pick that up for you!' but I don't have the nerve for that. Too bad Jeff wasn't with me....

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

SkyMall Delights

While I was on the plane, I amused myself by reading the SkyMall magazine. I was left to wonder: does anyone really purchase merchandise from SkyMall? I mean, it is a whole bunch of overpriced gimick-y nonsense. In fact, I believe they might make 'As Seen On TV' infomercials look reasonable. Here are some of the gems I found:

Portable Infrared Sauna The picture shows some sort of pop-up tent like situation, with a smiling head peeking out the top. It is unclear whether the tent actually allows one to stand up comfortably, but the model is smiling regardless. It can be yours for a mere $399.99 plus $21.25 shipping and handling.

The Porch Potty Rachel and Phil, I think Henry neeeeeeeds this. Below is the item description; they had me at 'scented fire hydrant'.

The Porch Potty gives you a clean grass area right on your porch, patio, or indoors. No more late night walks down the stairs or elevator to relieve your dog. Includes plush synthetic grass, scented fire hydrant, and outdoor self drainage. 

Pet Ramp/Staircase  Is Fifi is getting a little too old to leap onto your bed at night? Or perhaps you find that Fido has been packing away a few too many Beggin Strips and can no longer climb up? No matter! The Pet Ramp and Folding Staircase is here! Why make it hard for your pet to shed their fur all over your sheets? Let them walk right up in style and comfort! It's a steal, for only $179.99.

Hiccup Cure Sticks For only $19.99, you can have not one, not two, but THREE magical Hiccup sticks that are guaranteed to get rid of pesky hiccups in the blink of an eye. Is it just me, or are they charging $19.99 for three glorified popsicle sticks?

Protein Ketchup Do you find that you don't get enough protein from that triple decker hamburger you eat for breakfast every morning? Why bother eating eggs, beans, nuts, or meat...those traditional foods the rest of the world eats for protein. No! Start your day off right by guzzling down a tub of our specially formulated high protein ketchup! For only $1.82 per 1 ounce cup, you can get 15 grams of protein and two servings of tomatoes per serving! At $29.11 per pound, it is a great value for your money. Order yours today!

Justin Bieber Toothbrush I think this one is my favorite. You can choose from a toothbrush that plays Lady Gaga's I Was Born This Way, or two different selections from the Biebs. If they had one that played 'If I Was Your Boyfriend' I would so get it. Bieber fever!! Just kidding. I think that song is hilarious when he says 'I'll be your Buzz Lightyear'. Nothing like romancing someone with references to movies you loved when you were 8.

If anyone has ever ordered from the SkyMall, please 'fess up in the comments! :)

Monday, October 01, 2012

Community Concerns

The community my Grandma lives in is pretty awesome. It has everything...from doctors, physical therapy, dining hall, art/woodworking/stained glass/upholstery studio, indoor pool, golf course, beauty salon, cemetery and more. They even have their own church and the residents take turns teaching and preaching. One of the things that most humored/depressed me at Penney Farms was the reading of the 'Community Concerns' during Sunday School. The reading of the Community Concerns went something like this: "Please keep Bertha, Gertie, Bob, Cleatus, George, Bunny, Harold, John, and 54 other residents in your prayers, who are suffering from bunions/hip replacement/bursitis/heart palpitations/diabetes/black plague." I guess that is why Grandma always tells me never to get old. Then they go on to read a list of the people who have passed away in the last few weeks. Talk about depressing. The lady must have read off ten names, when she stopped and said 'My, we've had a bunch lately haven't we?' I guess when you get of a certain age, you just start to expect that to happen, but still... Later, we were getting situated for the church service. A lady a few rows ahead of us had a hat perched atop her head that had definitely seen better days.  A couple sat down behind us, and made a joke about sitting behind us to keep us in line. Then the guy leaned forward and whispered to Aunt Adrienne, 'Millie's* hat looks like it got run over by a truck.' I thought that was hysterical, but I had to stifle my giggles for fear of being kicked out. Poor Millie. She needs to hit up the Resale shop for a new hat.

**Name Changed**

Armadillo Hunt

And so it continues, my Florida adventures...the Armadillo Quest. I have always wanted to see an Armadillo. Grandma said that you don't really see them that often. Occasionally as road kill, but mostly just by the signs they leave behind, AKA the annoying little holes in Grandma's yard. I kept my eyes peeled on our excursions, but had no luck. Newsflash! Armadillos are nocturnal. Who knew? So a few nights I looked outside near the front door to see if I could spot one. Grandma suggested that I wasn't finding one because I needed to be calling out 'here, Armadillo, heeeeeere!' I think that was more a sarcastic attempt to get me to make a fool out of myself, but you be the judge. On Saturday night I decided to do a little walking. I happened to be in my pajamas and bare feet, but no matter. It was dark, and after dark in a retirement community equals ghost town. So I wandered about, looking for armadillos. Just on the off chance that one would be wandering around, I wanted to see it! On my walk, I spotted a few tree frogs and a toad. Not exactly what I was going for. I got toward the golf course and away from the lights. I figured that was the best place to look, though I was getting a little creeped out at that point, mainly because I couldn't see a thing. Then, I saw a shadow right behind me. Eek! I turned around quickly, expecting someone to be standing there. Instead, two street lamps were playing tricks on me, casting my shadow at varying angles. After that, I decided to call it a day and go back before I stepped on an alligator and peed my pants. I never did spot my armadillo.

P.S. I did ask Grandma if she would care if I took her golf cart out at midnight to spotlight armadillos, and she said yes, but I decided that sleep was more important than a misguided late night joyride in a golf cart looking for illusive armadillos. Beside, how would I explain that one to the security people?

P.P.S. There are a plethora of geckos down there, which I happen to think are cool but Grandma HATES them. Every time we go in and out, we have to make sure not to let any geckos in. She keeps a designated vacuum in her house for the sole purpose of sucking up any trespassing amphibians. Once the offender is safely stowed away in the vacuum bag, she covers the end of the hose for several days to make sure it doesn't get out before it dies. 

Kids Commentary Archive 3

J: What is parannoying?
Me: Paranoid? That means you are really worried about something.
J: Oh, I just call you parannoying to mean you are double annoying. (giggle)

J: Stay with me for more senses of humor.

Me: No, James, I don't want a wet willy. (at which point he wiped his finger off on his footies)
J (pointing at my ear again): How 'bout a dry willy?

K: (whispering as I tucked her into bed) This is going to sound really scandalous, but I love you more than underpants.

T: Will you snuggle with me? I'm not a fan of sleeping with nobody.

T: I can't eat my egg. It has egg flobber coming out of it. (apparently he doesn't like runny eggs)

Me: (singing to her) Sugar pie, honey bunch! You know that I love you! I can't help myself!
K: Oh, no! This is going too far! (shaking her finger at me)

T: Mom, this ornament is made out of ear wax!!
Me: Uh, no, that's BEESwax!

T: Now we're cookin' with peanut oil!

T: Grammy is not old. She is just a little rumbly. (wrinkly)

T: I falled in love with you Mom!

T: I want you, because you're toft and nuggly and I want to stay with you forever.

T: I go-ed poop and now my butt is tired.

Me: Tyler, did you know you are a gift from God. He sent you to us.
T: No, Jesus didn't send me. I came from Mexico.

J: I need a kids' Bible. I can't understand the ones at church. I can't stand Holly Bibles!

J: (in his END OF THE WORLD!! voice after his dominoes crashed) I've been working on this for minutes!!!!

J: I'm going to get that rabbit.
T: If you die my bunny friend, I'm not going to tolerate you!

T: Marshmallows are made from clouds.

T: I don't like it when they sing happy birthday to me (Cheyney-style). It's loud and it scares my ears. They need to calm down.

J: Katie, did you know this is a 50 caliber rifle? It can take out a buffalo. (his homemade toy gun)

T: Mom, I don't eat cannibals.
Me: What?!
T: I don't eat cannibals. They are gross and have icky stuff on them and they are dirty.
Me: (scratching head) You mean 'cantaloupe'?
T: Yeah, that.

T: (seeing a dead bee) If I could crack that bee open I could get honey out of it.

K: Hey, we should name one of our chicks "Martha Stewart"
Me: Why?
K: Because when she dies we can make STEW out of her!

T: Mom, I'm thirsty and I'm poopy.
Me: What? You're poopy!
T: Yeah, I'm poopy.
Me: Oh, do you mean poopy like tired or poop in your pants???
T: Like tired.
Me: Phew!!

T: Bacon powder?!?!
Me: No, baking powder!

K: Moms are like giant milk bottles.
Me: Why?
K: Because babies have to drink their milk out of their mom's boobs.

Me: Are these too small for you?
T: No, but when they get a little bit littler I will give them away.

K: Who painted those pink zebra stripes on you? (stretch marks)
Me: YOU! :)

T: Katie always mokes me. ('smokes' him...when they race)

K: I'm glad I don't live in my heart. It's all squishy and lumpy.

T: I didn't dream of robots last night. I dreamed of Lightening Queen, Thomas, houses, food, and Je-hus.

T: Someday you need to give me a map to South Dakota so I can go there on my shiny new bike.

T: I was checking on my baby doll and I heard your sound, coming to (check on) me.

T: Are you finking what I'm finking??

T: I'm building a dungeon.

T: Are you fettening me?! (threatening me)

T: (brushing my hair, which he loves to do for some reason) Mom, you're looking like Tinderewa!

T: I need to go poop, because I haven't gone in years.

T (telling us his memory verse): Be quick to li-hen, foe to peek, and foe to become an-gee, Tyler 1:19 (He thinks that when we say 'James 1:19 that he can substitute his own name)

K: I hate having stink eye Mom! (pink eye)

Me: It's New Years!
Katie: I'll wear my crazy glasses.
Me: I can wear mine too.
Tyler: (as if just thinking about the best way he can contribute to the party) Hey! And I can shake my booty!

K: Look at that tiny little car! It looks like someone shrunk it in the oven.

K: When we were at Katie A's house, all the kids were looking for salamanders and worms. They were freaking out about touching them, and I was like "Stand back everyone!" and I picked it up for them. (The apple did NOT fall very far from the tree on that one. :)

T: (after a giant praying mantis pinched him) He a bad boy!
Me: Does he need a time out?
T: Yeah, he need a time out!

T: Mom, don't eh-her, eh-her, eh-her go to Forida again!

K: I'm an Amish girl and this is my Amish scooter.
T: And I an Amish racecar!

T: I still a tiny little boy but I getting bigger.

T: You're nuggly, like a blankie.

T: (after just waking up) I want bacon. I mell it. (Can't pull one over on that kid. He sure did smell bacon.)

A Kindergartener on the school bus asked James today: Why are your teeth falling apart?

T: Dear God, help James not to be 'fraid and not to be 'caired at 'chool. Help all the butterflies to get out of him like this: (blows into the air). Amen.

K: It tastes like cotton candy, but without the sugar.
Me: So it tastes like....air?

T: Mommy bought us rotten candy!
Jeff: It's like eating a sweater.

T: This water bottle is melly. We need to wash it to get the tink out.

K: What part of the chicken are we eating?
Me: The breast.
K: Uh, we're eating the chicken's breast and touching it? That's weird.

T: I givin' you the tink eye, Mama. (the stink eye)

T: A little tiny noise came out of my butt.

J: Mom, my (bicycle) bell will never run out of sound!

T: Dad, we found a dead fish! (in the creek) And he gut were coming out and it was floating in the water like a hot air balloon high up in the sky.

J: I was thinking about someday how we might be famous.
Me: Oh, yeah?
J: Yeah, someday we might be famous because of your cooking.

K: I made you this drawing. It's a sour gummy worm and a cat's belly.

K: (after seeing a township car with lights on top drive past) Mom, someone's going to jail. I just saw a cop car and there were prisoners in the back.

K: (watching a 'snake' firework) It looks like the ground is pooping.

T: I like that. It nummy. It is good for my body.

Me: You guys are driving me nuts!!!
Tyler: Why are we driving you nut, Mommy? (he can't say the S sound)

K: You did that last time you were in a bar fight.
Me: (Where did she learn that???)
James: Hey, that's from Myth Busters!

Tyler: (eating plain flour while I was making cookies) I like this because it's nummy for my body.

Me: I gotta go put the chickens to bed.
T: They gotta go to bed?
Me: Yeah, they go in the coop.
T: So the kunk don't get dem?

K: Mom, what's the sun made out of? Is it just a big paper ball, and God puts the fire in it every morning and puts the fire out every night?

Me: Katie, where did you come up with the idea for your drawing?
K: Well, I had a dream about it, and when I got up I got it out of my mind.

K: Tyler, did you know that there is a lot of little holes in your head that the hair comes out of?

T: (to me) I fweeked you out. That was funny. Ha, ha, ha!

K: Mom, will you sew my hippy-potomus back together?

T: That was cwazy!

K: Sometimes I get the bunchies, and I have to pull it out and untwist it. (she means a wedgie)

T: (to the chickens) That not a good idea getting in Mommy's compost pile.

K: I want a piece of toast, not toasted.

K: Ah, they're passing out kids! (when we arrived at James' school)

K: I was going to take you to the Tower of Babylaunch, but I looked it up, and its closed because the towers are tipping over.

T: I want a marshroom! (marshmallow)

K: (getting up from her chair) Oh, my achin' wagon! I'm gettin' old.

J: I'm curled up in your lap like a cinnamon roll.

T: I burned my teeth!

T: I'm not sure how I feel about that.

T: That hurt my feeling.

T: I need hanitizer.

T: Popcones! Popcones! (pinecones)

T: Oh, no! I stepped on my foot!

T: Cut my finger off! (He meant fingernails)

K: I can't find one anywhere, so I think I'm going to look on Amazon.

K: On my last birthday, Mom.... (she meant her next b-day)
J: Katie, your next birthday isn't your last birthday! You keep on having birthdays forever, until you run out of birthdays and you die.

Adventures In Florida

Well, the party is over and I am back home. I had a ton of fun with Grandma, but I was happy to get back and hug my peeps. Grandma and I stayed pretty busy, and mostly out of trouble. Here are a few of our adventures:

  • Shopping at Resale! Resale is a thrift shop type place that is run by the people in my Grandma's retirement community. It is open two days a week, and there is usually a line at the door when it opens. Everything is very cheap. And since I know the right people (wink, wink!) I got in for my own personal shopping experience. I scored a number of things, including a very nice leather purse, a rather large yellow polkadot sundress that I will cut apart to make a dress for Katie, some vintage flower buttons, a cut-work hand embroidered table runner, a pair of like-new Liz Claiborne dress shoes...all for a whopping $12! I later scored a really cute dress for $3, pictures to come. 
  • Playing Wii with Grandma. There is a community room at Penney Farms that has a Wii, ping pong, air hockey, and puzzles. (Side Note: We did a 1000 piece puzzle, and I remembered how much I love to do puzzles!) The directions on the Wii state that if you still can't figure it out, call your grandchild. Well, wrong grandchild! I know not how to run the Wii. So we roped some stray teenager into giving us a little tutorial on how to play. Grandma pretty much shamed me at Bowling. Then I creamed her in Tennis. After exhausting the possibilities of the Wii (translation: we couldn't figure out how to get the boxing game to work) we went on to air hockey. Things were going well. By my incredible skills and magic luck I was way ahead. The game was pretty hilarious, as is. I mean, whose Grandma is cool enough to play a lively game of air hockey with them? Mine! And then it all took a turn for the...well, you decide. Grandma shouted 'Look! Look out the window! A giraffe!' Of course, when someone tells you to look, you look. In the second or two it took me to figure out that she had said giraffe, and that she was pulling my leg, Grandma made a very well placed score straight in the goal! Cheaters never prosper, Grandma! :) After that, we couldn't stop laughing at the whole thing. Here we are, scoring only by shear luck, when she fakes me out and makes a well placed goal straight in the slot. That one couldn't be replicated again if we tried. So while I was still laughing, Grandma scored TWO more goals! And she beat me! She took away every last shred of my dignity. I tried to regain it by beating her at Scrabble, but one stupid move cost me the game. I do have proof, somewhere, that I did beat her at Scrabble last year. She is a force to be reckoned with! She and my Aunt Lynn are Scrabble masters. Actually, we did decide we are evenly matched at those word games (we played Bananas too). We kept pretty close in score throughout each game.
  • And since this post is becoming a whole lot of rambling, I shall sign off for now and continue rambling tomorrow, when I will fill you in on my valiant quest to spot an armadillo.....