Saturday, May 31, 2014


  • I survived the week. Strep throat as an adult is awful. I am pretty sure I know what it feels like to be 94 years old. (See what I did there Grandma? If I would have said 80 I would have been in trouble! :) 
  • I have awesome friends, who brought me all manner of delicious food and dessert and offered to stop by the store for milk, bread or vallium. ha!
  • My children also survived my bout with strep. Tyler watched an extreme amount of TV and he has taken to nonchalantly adding pirate jargon to everyday conversation thanks to Jake and the Neverland Pirates. 
  • I had to venture to the mall...not once, but twice. And if that weren't bad enough, I had to go because I was bathing suit shopping for Katie. I could fill a page, or six, on what is wrong with the world today as it applies to little girls' clothing, but seriously? No I do not want my 6 year old to look like a trampy teenager. I ended up at the Disney Store thanks to a friend's recommendation. They have nice bathing suits that are actually suited for young girls and they were on sale! The problem I had was that the suit I bought was too big, and I had to exchange it today with all three kids. So far I have convinced them that ToysRUs is the Devil's Lair, and until today the Disney Store was as foreign to them as, say, North Korea.  Let's just say I got a lot of 'For my birthday, can you get me this, except get it now because my birthday is far away......'  I feel lucky to be alive after taking them in that store. 
  • I am not sure who checks on the garden more obsessively this year: Tyler or I. He is really getting into it and has helped my plant most of it. He has some interesting seeding techniques which usually become evident after 7-10 days when everything sprouts. I found a spot where I am pretty sure a whole packet of radish seeds was laid to rest. He planted watermelon again this year, and I gave it a few big shovelfuls of compost to give it a boost. I am hoping this year we will produce a REAL watermelon and I won't have to make one appear in the vines. He still talks about that, and how it got 'SO BIG SO FAST!' Why yes, yes it did. 
  • Did I mention one of our chickens died a few weeks ago? I went to get the eggs and there she was. Her girlfriends had already half-buried her in the coop and after performing a quick visual autopsy I determined that she suffered from a complete prolapse of her nether-regions. Poor girl. She had been sick before and I thought I had nursed her back to health. Apparently not. She left the ol' homestead wrapped in an empty feedbag and was laid to rest in the trash can. I include that bit of fascinating information because everyone asks me 'what do you do with it?' or better yet 'did you eat it?' And the answer to that is no. Actually I try not to eat sick animals after the rigor mortis sets in. It's kind of off-putting.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Tyler, And Other Nonsense

I just went to check on Tyler, because he 'couldn't sleep.' Well, I'll tell you what, I couldn't sleep in a produce box either. I removed him, his blanket and his pillow from said produce box, tucked him in and tickled his back....and he's out!

In other news, I now have strep....ugh! It basically knocked me on my butt and the resulting mayhem involved Tyler watching way too many episodes of Jake and the Neverland Pirates while eating Popsicles and bananas and giant spoonfuls of peanut butter. I have not been this sick in a long time, and let me tell you...don't get strep! It stinks! And if you are counting, that is 3 cases of impetigo, 2 strep throats, 1 allergic reaction and a partridge in a pear tree. Boo!!!! I'm ready to be done with all this.

In other, other news, I remembered a funny story to tell Tyler while we were waiting in the doctor's office (because apparently self-diagnosis is not sufficient to procure antibiotics). Tyler asked me about the locked fridge in the doctor's office and it made me remember when I was in high school, we dissected frogs. This probably won't surprise you, but I loved dissecting things. It was very interesting. Whenever we had class, we had to obtain our bullfrogs from the refrigerator in the back room. They were pinned to wax pans and smelled of formaldehyde. I found it to be quite amusing that the teacher would keep his lunch in the fridge next to the frogs. Eew! And while we are on the subject of dissecting, I once got paired up with the class clown who was rather obnoxious and very squeamish. He was happy to be on my team since I had no qualms slicing and dicing. After he got on my nerves one too many times, I shot the lens of a sheep's eyeball at him because I am all sorts of classy and refined.

In other, other brain is officially fried as you can probably tell. Good night, peeps!

Monday, May 26, 2014

Katie: She's A Peach

I just checked on Katie and she quietly asked if I would sing her a song. I sang her 'You Are My Sunshine' and she stared up at me while I sang. When I finished, she said to me: "Every time you sing that to me I butter." At which point my eyes began to 'sweat' a little and she asked me why I was crying. I told her it was because she made me melt like butter. She said it was her favorite song I sing to her, and that it was OK, because she likes to melt when I sing it. :)

And on Saturday, my Mom had sent home a surprise breakfast that Katie knew how to set up. As soon as we got home, Katie wanted to get the breakfast ready for the next morning (my birthday). She cut up watermelon and strawberries and made a fruit salad (yes, I teach my kids how to use knives at a young age...its family tradition!) and labeled each cup with our names. At some point, as I was watching her, I said 'Katie, you are a magical creature' and she replied with 'I'm just making breakfast.' 'Exactly!' I said. 'You're stinkin' awesome.' And she looked at me without skipping a beat and said 'It's because I stinkin' love you.' And I melted like butter.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

The D-L

 This last week has been a bit INSANE. James has some weird spots on his face that looked like poison ivy. Turns out it was impetigo. Woo! It's a contagious disease! (note: sarcasm) Katie got strep (caused by the same germ) and was completely lethargic and miserable. I hauled all three beans to the doctor's office to get James and Katie checked out. Taking three kids to the doctors office is such a joy. ha. They were both prescribed antibiotics, and I believe we may have broken some record for modern children in that James has never taken an antibiotic before. And Katie only once.
 So, they began to improve and you may guess where this is going next: Tyler got impetigo. Back to the doctor's office, this time mercifully with only Tyler. He got an cream for it and we were good to go. For the fun of it, here's the rundown on what its like to administer medication to children. James took his willingly. Hallelujah! The other two, not so much. Giving Katie her medicine was like wrestling a hissing alligator. Tyler screamed and wiped the cream off. Little does he know I wait til he goes to sleep and then slather it on.

 Now today, the school nurse called at 11:15 saying James had a rash all over his body, and did I notice it this morning? At which point you wonder if they are accusing you of being a horrible mom for either a) not noticing or b) sending him anyway. This morning he was fine, by 11:30 he had a rash, by dinner it was horrible. Possible allergic reaction to the antibiotic, benadryl to the rescue and I've got my fingers crossed he can go back tomorrow!

 If all of this sounds incredibly dull, well, it is. But that's what happened this week. We also got some 'farming' done, as Tyler says. He is a big fan of gardening and very helpful. We got potatoes in, planted some tomatoes, squash, basil, and who knows what random seeds he snuck in everywhere.
And the other thing I actually accomplished this week was finally finishing this project which I have been working on nigh on to forever. I even hung it up. Go me! Yes, Dad, I made sure to anchor it in studs!

Friday, May 16, 2014

Misc. Shenanigans: Settle In For A Laugh At My Expense! :)

First of all, some noteworthy quotes from the kids recently:

Katie: God is everywhere. He's even in my face right now. (rolls eyes) God, can you please get out of my face for a little while?

Tyler: My grammy's named after a banana.
Me: What??
Tyler: She's named after a banana, because Grammy rhymes with banana. And my middle name is Squatchy. Because I'm funny.

Me: Tyler, I can't believe you're picking your nose!
Tyler: But I'm not gonna eat it.
Me: But still!
Tyler: I said, I'm not gonna eat it. I'm just scraping out my nose. I'm making more room.
Me: (can't argue with that logic...)

Yesterday was a bit....interesting? Katie was really sick, and James woke up with an infected fingernail (disgusting!) and the weird bumps on his face had spread. Three kids home for the day, two of them sick, and a double doctors appointment. Are you jealous yet? While at the doctors I discovered that a) Katie has strep throat, b) James has impetigo and an infected nail, and c) my kids go crazy in a tiny doctors office. There is only so much 'Oh look at the big bee flying outside the window!' that will distract them from repeatedly pushing the foot pedal on the trash can and threatening to handle the sharps container next to the trash. I left with two prescriptions, one lethargic kid, an 8 year old who had managed to lose all his earthly privileges while in the doctor's office, and a 4 year old who wanted to spontaneously run in circles, throwing walnuts while trying to kick his brother. Aaaaaand, the day wasn't over yet. Nope! The fun did not stop there. Oh, no. Our doctor's office is considerably far (which I feel is an even trade since our old office used to keep us waiting for 30+ minutes). All this means it is about 30 minutes each way. We stopped at Target on the way back to get the prescriptions and low and behold, they didn't have James' medication. There was some sort of computer glitch. The folks at Target were very helpful and nice, which saved them from hearing a 'Can you see that I have a very sick girl, a very obnoxious 8 year old and a 4 year old that just wants to go home RIGHT NOW!!!!' tirade from crazy mom. Turns out they put it in under the wrong name. Which made me feel very safe about the medication I was bringing home for my kids...ha! Once it was all ironed out, we got home and Katie passed out on the couch. She was exhausted. In the meantime a friend came over with her niece to have me do a little bit of sewing on her prom dress. This caused the boys for some unknown reason to take their craziness from level 9 to level INSANITY. When things finally settled down, I sat down to eat, at which point someone who will remain nameless, walked up to me nonchalantly and said 'look Mom' at which point I turned to see directly before me some unsavory bits of anatomy that were apparently suffering from dryness. Because I need to see that at dinner. Pass the mashed potatoes, please! Just as nonchalantly, I took care of the situation and went back to eating. Just a little interruption. No biggie. Just a few minutes later, I was interrupted again by the familiar 'MOOOOOOOOOMMM! I neeeeeed you!!!' which I took to be a standard 'Wipe my butt' mission. However, it was less than standard. I arrived at the scene to find Tyler standing there with his buns hanging out playing cars in the sink. He emphatically yelled 'Don't flush the toilet!!' which was the first hint that something was amiss. He then explained to me, via a reenactment sans pants, that he had been playing cars and one flew into the toilet. He finished off his demo by saying 'I guess I should close the lid next time'. Um, yes. That would be nice. I will try to put this delicately, but due to the nature of the output, the car was considerably obscured. It took me several tries to fish it out with a slotted spoon, all the while Tyler wanting patiently pants-less, for me to retrieve his car. I mean, can't we just throw the whole thing away??? But no, he wanted it. So we washed it off, washed him off, washed me off and then I went and hid in the chicken coop. Just kidding, but I should have. Some days are just ridiculous. 

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Wherein I Brag About My Awesome Kids

 Yes. I just said I am going to brag about my awesome kids. Which in and of itself is pretty awesome because they have been....less than awesome lately. Poor kids.

Tyler lent me his adorable little muscles to help me fix the door today. It was in serious trouble, but I busted out my trusty drywall screws and got'er done. No comments from the peanut gallery about the legitimacy of dry wall screws for this particular application. **cough, cough** Dad.

P.S. James....his new hobby is photo-bombing

Look at those beefy little stick arms. I am loving the warm weather because that means I get to see the cute little twigs again.

I am not sure if letting him loose with a drill is the safest bet in the world...

But he did good! And the door is no longer threatening to fall off.

And tonight was the kids' art show. James painting is top left. I am happy that I will soon have some new art to hang up!

James's painting, which involves a barn. Duh.

 And Miss Katie got selected to go to the district art show. Wooo!! So exciting! She had no idea and was pretty pleased when I explained what it meant. I had seen her painting earlier this week and loved it so much I began planning how to frame it when she brought it home. Guess I will have to wait a little longer for that.

 Up close...I think it is acrylic paint with crayon.

And James also made a ceramic castle tower. He etched a brick design into his.

Sunday, May 11, 2014


I had no idea it has been two weeks since I blogged last...yikes! Feeling a little brain dead after a busy weekend, so I will do another photo dump.

 Handsome kid in rain barrel
 And a beautiful chicky in the rhubarb patch
 Dirty toes on my favorite stepping stone
 Kids crawling on the squirrel nest, 50 feet off the thanks, I'll just watch
 Funny sign
 James getting brave
 Curious George makes an appearance
 A giant, sweet smelling peonie
 Playing in the fountain
 Real live swans eating stuff that washed out of the creek

 Katie held James' legs so he could reach in and catch a salamander
And he did! Very, very happy with himself. The salamander, notsomuch. He was introduced to Tyler, and it ended in the salamander needed a medic and possible therapy
 Go ahead, laugh at me for taking a picture of a duck's feet...
Grammy and Katie playing in the creek

**Most of these pictures were taken at Morris Arboretum**