Notes from the Nut House

Its been another eventful weekend here at what seems to be fast becoming the Nut House. Saturday we had three sets of people scheduled to see the house. Going into the weekend, we were both feeling considerably skeptical that the house thing was going to work out. We prepared the house 'in case' anyone showed up, and then sat down to wait. There was only one person I thought might show up. He didn't show. The next guy actually showed up. They are very interested in the house and are actually 'going to drop off the application this week.' While there is nothing that raises a red flag with them, neither one of us are particularly sure of them so we'll see what happens. The third guy didn't show. It was no big shock, since he didn't even wait on the phone long enough to get our address. He just set up the appointment, said 'see you Saturday' and hung up. We're dealing with QUALITY here, people...QUALITY! After that all played out, we packed it up and headed over to Mom's for her birthday shin-dig. I made dinner and Rachel made the cakes. That's dedication, since she had to brave the stench, uh, scent of carob while making Mom's cake. Mom ruined my child for life by feeding him Carob cake. He is now seeing a therapist three times a week. Its going to be a long road, but we will prevail! Later that evening, we had a call from another potential renter. They wanted to see the house and so we told them to come on Sunday. We figured with our luck, they wouldn't show. We were having the gang over for dinner and figured if they did show, we'd just walk them around. Well, let me tell you. They did show...did they ever. Two parents, and two incredibly bratty kids. The kids proceeded to pull every single toy and book off the shelf and onto the floor. Apparently, Mom's mama bear instincts set in and she swooped in to prevent further anarchy. Good thing I wasn't around, because word has it that the kid called James a name or two, and was stealing toys. I am not one of those super-freak parents, but don't be coming into my house and pushing my kid around. I think it took everything Auntie Rach and Un-tee Ball had in them to not pummel the pint-sized Nazi child. The dad didn't even look upstairs. He ended up taking his shrieking daughter out and telling his wife to get the application. The kid didn't want to leave and she, obviously, didn't really want to make him. She kept telling him that he could come back again soon. Uh, no, you can't, I wanted to scream. When she finally coerced him to get his shoes on he loaded up his arms with toys. She tried to encourage him to put the toys back, but mostly just stood there like she wanted us to just let him take the stuff. Jeff had to be the one to get the toys back from the kid. It was all too strange. When they left, we all scratched our heads while the dust settled. At least now the fam has seen what we go through every Saturday, letting complete strangers traipse through our house. Ah, fun times. Fun times. Fortunately, after everyone left we enjoyed a quiet afternoon filled with naps and reading.

This morning, I had quite the encounter with a disgruntled sign-holder-guy. I was going to pick up some clothes from a Freecycler and saw a guy ahead holding the 'SLOW' sign. They were doing some work off to the side of the road and Mr. Grumpy Pants was in charge of holding the SLOW/STOP sign. As I approached, he started to flip the sign to STOP. I slowed down to stop and he flipped the sign back around to SLOW. So, I accelerated. By this, I mean I was going maybe 20 MPH. In my experience here, when you go too slow, they wave at you to hurry up. Not this guy. He FREAKED OUT! He started shouting and waving the sign at me. He flipped the sign back to STOP for a second and I wasn't sure if he changed his mind and wanted me to stop and have a little chat with him. He quickly flipped the sign back to SLOW and continued waving the sign at me. Geez. I am not making this up. This guy was not a happy camper. I slowed down even more, but he waved at me till I was past him. Seriously! What is the speed limit when going through one of these zones? I thought he was going to hit the truck with his sign. As a side note, when I drove past him, I noticed that he was pretty old and had a big fat cigar sticking out of his mouth. I thought about stopping at the WaWa and getting him a cup of coffee or something.

Since this is becoming what might be the longest, most rambling blog post ever, I will sign off. If you are still reading this and haven't fallen asleep, give yourself a big pat on the back!