Franch Tales from an Old-Timer

Back in the day, we had the good fortune of getting the owner of the farm, Melvin, to talk about his childhood. Boy, did he have some stories to tell. Each story was funnier than the last. Here are my two favorites.

***Names changed to protect the innocent!***

One of the chores that Melvin had to do as a child was to feed the chickens. Unfortunately, with chickens usually comes a rooster. Roosters are not always very friendly. This one was particularly cantankerous. The rooster would chase him around the yard, and Melvin’s patience wore thin. Being chased by an angry rooster each morning was not on this five-year-old’s agenda. Melvin decided to take care of the problem. He caught the rooster, doused it in gasoline and lit it on fire. What Melvin hadn’t planned on was that the rooster would run right back into the hen house. Instead of merely doing in an ornery rooster, he managed to do in a flock of chickens along with their coop. Can you imagine how he explained that one to his parents?!

*****

As Melvin explained it, there was a bridge near his home where lovers used to go to park. I believe this bridge may have also been known as the kissing bridge. Anyway, you get the drift. It was a teenage night-time hangout. It was this bridge that became a target for a farm boy and his friends who were left with too much time on their hands. Apparently, Melvin or one of his friends came into something every boy dreams of: dynamite. Wanting to see what the explosives could do, they decided one Friday night to rig up the bridge. At this time, the fact that it was the Lover’s Bridge was far from their minds. They figured that no one would be crossing the bridge at night and it would be a ‘harmless’ endeavor. They rigged the bridge with dynamite and went home to wait. Suddenly, Melvin felt overcome with the realization that there may be some unsuspecting teenage couple heading for the bridge. Unfortunately, it was too late to change plans. In the end, no one was hurt. No one ever found out who did it. Melvin never told his parents. I am not sure of the extent of damage to the bridge. We were too stunned at Melvin's revelation to ask too many questions.