Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Mind Your Own Beeswax!

We went to the pediatrician today. A double whammy: both kids had to get check-ups. But as my mom reminded me, check-ups aren’t what they used to be. Its more of an interrogation of your home conditions than a health check for your kids. Yeah, they got weighed and measured. Katie has gained 2+ pounds and 1 ½ inches in 6 weeks! And James is just about 3’ tall! But anyway, while the doctor was looking in their ears and poking their bellies, she fired away with question after question. Do I read lots of books to them, can James stack at least 5 blocks, does Katie sleep on her back, does James eat fruits and veggies, how much does he eat, when do they go to bed, when do they wake up, when do they take naps, are we going to put James in preschool this year or next year (note there was no option to not put him in preschool), how is James’ behavior, how many times do they poop and pee. They asked me to fill out a survey, for the second time, about my moods, feelings, etc. Seriously!? Is this all relevant information? Will I get turned in to social services if my baby sleeps on her side instead of her back?! Or if my kid goes one day without eating his veggies?! And here is the kicker, the question that most annoyed me! Do you have guns in the house? I wanted to say ‘No, but what if I did? I don’t have a problem with gun ownership.’ Rach said I should have noted that my president was Charleton Heston. Mom said I should have told them that I owned a glue gun. That would’ve been funny! But I just said no. Honestly, what is this world coming to! Are they going to start asking me if I make sure my kids watch Baby Einstein and go to Mommy and Me Yoga classes? Argh!


Jules said...

That's crazy. We get asked questions but they are much more general...like how is he eating, and the developmental questions like can he say at least 20 words and things like that. It still can make you feel like what if he can't. Does that mean my child is slow even though he can do about 10 things that you didn't even ask because he's not suppose to do them until next month. It's frustrating.

Trish D said...

Kinda funny but frustrating, too. But here's the flip side - our pediatrician basically just weighs, measures, gives 'em shots and moves us on out. And it's only gotten worse (and the only reason we haven't switched is because of insurance - but that's changing as of '08!)

Anonymous said...

You should have told them that he cannot stack blocks, but he's damn good at making a pyramid out of twenty quarter sticks of dynamite!

mcwiggins said...

You should have told her about your mad-scientist husband building a bomb in your house.


I dunno, but this doc sounds like she needs to back off. If she makes you that uncomfortable I would consider finding a new doctor.