Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Murphy's Law (The 'When-You-Have-Kids' Edition)

  • If you mop the floor, someone will promptly spill something on it (more so than usual)
  • If you pack away a toy that your kid never, ever plays with, he will suddenly sense its absence cry to have his 'favorite' toy back
  • If you did not sleep good the night before and are short on patience, your kids will make sure to exercise what little you have left
  • There are several things that will cause your kid to poop, and no, I am not talking about a laxative: putting on a clean diaper, putting them to bed, or being in the middle of a doctor's appointment or church
  • If you leave off a boy's diaper for even a minute, he will most likely pee on the floor
  • If your baby pees on the floor, your older children will laugh hysterically and cheer him on as he dips his fingers in the amazing and wondrous puddle, while you run frantically to stop him
  • If you leave the bathroom door open, your baby will sense it a mile away and go running to splash in the toilet (Urgent Note to Older Children: PLEASE, PLEASE, remember to flush!! And shut the door behind you!)
  • Toy Cell Phone: L-A-M-E!!! Real Cell Phone: Will do anything to get their chubby little hands on those shiny little buttons
  • If you leave any calculator within reach of your daughter (who has a habit of chewing on stuff) she will systematically pull all the buttons out with her teeth, because really....why not?
  • When you find a puddle on the floor next to the toilet, you will be greeted with 'Oh, yeah, that was an accident.'
  • When you feel like screaming after adjusting the couch cushions for the five millionth time (OK, I have issues with the cushions, not really sure why because I am pretty much the opposite of OCD, at least I think...) your kids will do something totally awesome/cute/funny/ridiculous to make you laugh and forget all about the dirty diaper that got lost in the couch.

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