Newspapers and Broccoli: Undercover Camera: Rental Edition

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Undercover Camera: Rental Edition

We didn't really go undercover, but the tenant wasn't there when we showed the house today so we were free to assess the damage at our leisure. Good thing, because after seeing the house, they would've gotten an earful from me. James asked us if we had fun at the old house. I told him it was not so much like fun, but more like having toothpicks shoved under your fingernails or something. Just for kicks, in case you're interested, here are a few pictures of the pit of despair. Tomorrow, I'll post happy pictures of the fam, because despite the crap going on at the rental house, my kids still make me smile and spring is still coming and there are lots of reasons to be happy. Just don't remind me of the rental house. Oh, and if you want to get the full effect, have your significant other pee on the rug, let it marinate for a day or 6 weeks, then sit there and smell it while watching the slideshow.

4 comments:

Trish D said...: Hooooooly schnikees. Suddenly I'm not feeling so bad about my own house (which I'm sure you find to be a great comfort ;) And seriously, they said ALL their stuff was out?! That's a *LOT* to leave behind...; 5:49 AM
Merry Jo said...: Oh, my goodness! What pigs! I can't IMAGINE living like that! Hope you find a good tenant soon!; 6:01 AM
Anonymous said...: Yeah. Its bad, eh? And there is a lot of stuff left over. They have til Wednesday at 10am to get their stuff out, but I have a sneaking suspicion we'll be throwing a lot of it out in the trash! And Trish...yeah, Jeff said, 'and I thought our house was dirty!'; 6:37 AM
Schwartz's said...: Just keep reminding yourself that they will be out very soooon!!! Hey, I was thinking I didn't mention it today in our 5 hour telephone conversation (good thing Jeff came home) but I could help you out this weekend or watch your kids for you whichever you prefer. Just give me a "for real" quick call and we'll set something up.; 3:21 PM

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Kids Commentary!!

T: I wanna make it just like the one Grammy got in Methlehem.

T: James, if you keep practicing your bow and arrow, you can get really good at it and be an Indian when you grow up. Indians are really interesting.

K: (to Chappy) You should enter a contest for Crazy, because you'd probably win.

T: I have two friends who are twins, Wi-wee and Wee-uh. But they aren't attached. Remember we watched a show about that?

T: Uh, Mom...problem! I can't poop because I didn't eat enough food.

J: Don't bring those blankets Mom. I germinated them. (meaning he coughed all over them when he was sick)

T: (after seeing a very short man) I thought he was a kid, but he is not. He is the most medium sized dad I have ever seen.

T: Chocolate is my favorite color. (that's my boy!!!)

K: Mom, come look at my hair! It looks like Justin Beaver!

K: I don't like peaches. The fur gets on my skin and makes me itchy.

T: I almost cried (on the first day of school) but then I didn't hear a peep from my tears. They are right behind my eyes, right Mama?

T: I made a best friend at school!

Me: Great! What's his name?

T: I don't know.

J: This place is like Disney Land for flies. (under the food tent at the Grange Fair)

Me: Look for the inflatable cow.

T: That's debatable, and you need an air compressor to blow it up.

T: I got a hosta leaf for my beetle!

Me: That's actually a morning glory leaf.

K: What'd you expect, an afternoon leaf?

T: I need a boy purse. It needs to have two pockets, one for cash, one for money. That's the idea. Yep!

K: Cash and money are the same thing. The paper stuff, and the metal circles are all money.

T: (sitting on his throne...aka the toilet) Mom, I'm gonna tell you what I want for my birthday, and I hope it doesn't cost too much bucks.

J: (playing the card game 'War' with himself) Hey, so far I'm winning!

Me: You're playing against yourself, of course you're winning.

J: Well, this pile is the one that is winning.

T: (watching Yukon Men) I could catch a wolverine someday when I'm a grown up, right mama? I would just make it a whole bunch of cookies for it, and then a few hours later when it is eating the cookies I would sneak up on it and shoot it.

T: Lefty loosey, tighty righty. I got that from Chappy.

K: Now where are you, Mr. Mushroom? I have an appointment with you! To smush you!

Me: Here are two beautiful egg-in-a-holes, James.

J: Well, they are beautiful but I wouldn't put them down in the record books or anything.

J: Mom, I have pimples.

Me: What? You don't have pimples.

J: See, these!

Me: Those are nipples, not pimples.

K: Auntie Rachel made my belly button.

Me: Why do you say that?

K: Because she put a clothespin on it.

Me: Oh, yeah, she did cut your umbilical cord.

K: Yeah, she really loves me.

T: I can't eat these (banana chips). They're gonna pull my teeth out of my head.

T: My feet are yawning. I need to rest.

Me: You're cute, Squatch!

T: You're cute too, with your big toes, and your big melon.

T: (calling me from his bed) Hey, snuggle-muffin! Come snuggle with me!

J: If I ever dig to the middle of the earth, you need to send me 150 sandwiches. No, I think 200.

K: When I grow up I am going to own a pig. That way I can have fresh bacon every day.