Monday, March 30, 2009

Proselytizing, Bombs and Destruction of Property: Mormon Style

Last night, when we should have been sleeping, we got to reminiscing about our childhood shenanigans. I think it was a nice diversion from thinking about the P.O.D.. Jeff told me a story I only vaguely remember hearing, and I couldn't stop laughing. It revolved around the legendary 'Elder Felt,' a Mormon missionary who set himself to proselytizing Jeff and ended up corrupting him instead. Somewhere during Jeff's high school career, he met up with Elder Felt (or is it Felts?). Soon, Elder Felt was pointing out the finer points of various bomb making techniques, a must-know in order to get into the fifth and tightly guarded level of Mormon heaven. (just kidding, I think) It soon came to pass that Elder Felt needed to take care of some dirty work. Who else would he ask, but his potential convert and willing participant, Jeff. The problem was that Elder Felt's fellow missionary, Elder X, had a tiny little television stowed away in his room. What's the problem, you ask? Well, those pesky little TVs are forbidden for missionaries and Elder Felt had his Jesus Jammies in a bunch about it. He had a plan. When the missionaries went on a trip, Elder Felt would leave the backdoor unlocked and Jeff was to dispatch the TV for him. Jeff, being the cunning little braniac that he is, took the TV apart, cut the main power cord from inside, and burned the end of the cord to create a burned electronic smell. Then he reassembled the TV, and left the incapacitated tool of the Devil for Elder X to discover when he returned. He would be none the wiser, attributing the untimely demise of his TV to the smell of burnt electrical wiring.

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