Friday, September 19, 2008

Follicle Follies: A Jeff Story

One of my beloved's life goals is to no longer have to cut his hair. As we all know, running the clippers over 12 square inches of hair one time per week is very time consuming. Jeff wants to get to the point where he is entirely bald, and the sooner the better. Recently, Jeff has developed a hair-brained theory. He believes that the follicles on the uppermost region of his noggin are feeble and 'on their way out.' Now, no one is really arguing that. But, here is where the bizarre theory comes in. Jeff thinks that in their weakened state, there must be a way that these particular follicles can be done it. Jeff informed me that he was going to shave the top section of his head in order to squeeze the last dying breath from his hair. He said that since his hair was already on its way out, it would not have the strength or desire to grow back. Ha! I ever-so-sweetly informed him that I have been shaving my legs for the past 15 years or so, and so far the hair has not given up. Surprise! I still have to shave my legs! Jeff said that his hair was different. It was so thin, so debilitated, that it would not be able to grow back. Guess what, folks? He tried it. Do you think it worked? Of course not. The hair grew back! Now, he must move on to other methods. Last night, he mentioned rubbing his hair off. He said if he could just find a way to rub his hair off, that he wouldn't have to shave. Because rubbing your hair off is way more easy and comfortable than using the clippers. Oh, Jeffrey, I love you, even if you do have a strange idea every now and then!

**If any of you have any legitimate suggestions, Jeff would love to here them! He's looking to go bald by age 30, one way or another.**


Trish D said...

I think an epilady would do wonders (hopefully he can't hear my evil laugh!)

Phillip and Rachel said...

There is always a good wax or session with the Nair...or, Jeff could just be normal and slowly mourn the inevitable demise of what few lovely blond hairs that he has left :)

the grown survivors said...

How about that electrolysis thing? He could go get his head zapped.

Or, a cheaper method would be to grab onto a flagpole during a lightning storm.