F@cebook: Opening a Can of Worms

I was going write about socks and how they maddeningly disappear and reappear at random. But no, I decided to open a can of worms instead. (Can you tell my mind is starting to be affected by the multiple layers of grime and despair we've been dealing with?) First off, let me start by saying that I think a good majority of you trusty readers are on the F@cebook. But now that I have joined, I am more confused that ever about the point of f@cebook, besides draining people's time away by tempting them into taking the 'What would your pirate name be?' quiz. Here are some things I don't get:

• Becoming a fan: someone I know became a fan of 'sleep.' I looked, and there are nearly a million fans of sleep. Now seriously, who says to themselves, 'self, I am going to create a f@cebook group called 'sleep,' and everybody will be a fan. And how does one go about finding these groups to join, and why?
• The, and I quote, 'lil green patch.' These things show up all the time, with people trying to get me to accept a green patch to help save the environment. Really, is accepting an electronic icon going to keep anyone from chopping down a tree in the rainforest?
  
• Gifts. People can send gifts. I don't know where they come from, or where they go. Someone sent me a Cadburry egg. It disappeared somewhere into cyberspace, never to be understood.
• There is also, apparently, a way to launch snowballs and Ob@mas at one another. You can be greeted in the morning by 'Your friend XX flung an Ob@ma at you.' You can respond by flinging one back.
• The status update: I never know what to write, and usually don't fill it in. Usually, the thoughts that run through me head are Megan is....picking her nose. Megan is....wondering who really cares if I am going to make a PB&J after this. Megan is....thinking that whoever created the group 'I like big butts and I cannot lie' needs to get a life, and fast.'
• Collecting friends. Seriously? How can you possibly keep up with 378 friends, and do you really want to? Like the guy you met at the bus stop in Kindergarten, who moved away the next week. Or your brother's ex-girlfriend's brother's cousin's uncle's neighbor?

I would like to say, I do think the 'book has some benefits. It is fun to leave a little comment for a friend, or see pictures of your friends' kids. Friends of ours recently had a sweet little baby girl with some health issues, and I checked all day long for updates. (Hi, Lily and Merry Jo!!! And Scott and Emma) I keep up with a few childhood friends of mine through F@cebook. There really are good things about it, but I don't think I'll be taking the 'What foreign world leader do you look like?' quiz. Besides, I'd be too afraid it would tell me I look like Yasir Araf@t, and who wants to broadcast that to their 528 friends?