Wednesday, January 09, 2008

When you have kids...

People make your life their business. It actually starts before you have kids. People want to know:

When are you going to have kids?
How many kids are you going to have?
Are you pregnant yet?

Once you are pregnant, they ask you things like:

What are you having? (Uh, a baby, thank you very much)
Are you hoping for a boy or a girl? (We were actually hoping for a goldfish, thanks for asking)
How far along are you?

The last question is often followed by:

Oh, my, you look HUGE!
Oh, my, you're so tiny!
You look ready to pop!

And my personal favorite:

I don't know how this is possible, but you look bigger then you did yesterday! (Thanks, Mom)

Then, you have the kid. BUT, you aren't out of the woods yet! That's when it really starts. You hear things like this:

Are you breastfeeding? (from complete strangers)
Is he/she a good baby?
Does he/she sleep good for you? (they're supposed to sleep?)
Do you have any guns in the house? (Darn pediatricians!)

People look at your kid and say things like:

Is this your first?
Oh, she looks fake.
Is that a boy or a girl? (Well, judging by the pink hat, I am guessing its a girl)
How old is your baby?

Then, armed with that intriguing bit of chronological knowledge, they say:

Oh, he/she is HUGE!
Oh, what a little peanut.
Oh, she's going to be a big girl.
Wow, he looks a lot older than two. He's only two?
Does he talk? (No, he's training to be a monk)

They also throw in comments like:

He/she is so shy.
He/she needs a nap.
He/she is hungry.
Can she breath in there? Isn't she squished?
(When I am carrying Katie in the sling)
Is he/she warm enough?

Thanks, people, for telling me what you think my kid needs. I would be lost without all your helpful advice.

So, seriously, do the questions and unsolicited advice ever end? I guess I have to admit that I have asked a few of these questions myself, but I try to stay on the friendly non-obnoxious side of things. So, people-of-childbearing-age-who-read-this-blog, you know who you are. So, when are you going start having babies? :)


Jules said...

You forgot the oh so annoying question....after you have 1 child....when are you going to have another? ( when we're ready that's when )

mcwiggins said...

Thanks for the warning, Meg.

And to answer your question ... after reading this post? Uh, how about NEVER?

Jeff & Meg said...

McWiggins!! Don't let me discourage you. It can't be any worse than your relatives saying, 'so, you're still unemployed??' You can just level them with one of your evil glances.