Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Fishing With Kids

I believe I have mentioned here before that the kids are a wee bit obsessed with fishing. If they hawd their way we would go every day. Here is a typical rundown of a fishing trip, and I will leave it to you to decide why I don't take them every day.

1. Gather fishing equipment. This includes but is not limited to: laments regarding the lack of sufficient tackle (but Mooooom, I only have 7 hooks!), fights over who gets to (or who has to) carry what, search for suitable footwear, and a last minute realization that one is missing a sinker/hook/whatever. There are also occasional spirited discussions that go along the lines of no, you don't need a treble hook the size of Texas, because you are more likely to catch your sisters scalp with it than an actual shark, which judging by the size of the hook is what its meant for. 

2.  Once all that is finally over, we walk to the creek. About half the time, someone's hook comes loose and catches on their shirt/shorts/hair. There are also sometimes opinionated discussions about which is the best fishing hole, and are they going to use clams, marshmallows or powerbait.

3. We arrive at the fishing hole. I am already done with fishing. Everyone needs bait, and usually someone needs their line untangled. There are squabbles about who gets to fish where. There is the ever-hilarious 'DON'T TALK, YOU'RE SCARING THE FISH!!!!' where the irony of yelling at someone to be quiet is lost.

4. As soon as all three get their poles in the water, someone gets their hook stuck and loses it after yanking with enough force to dislodge a hibernating bear. There is surprise that the line snapped, and a request for another hook. I tie one on, and in the meantime someone catches a fish.

5. Which is usually Tyler, because it makes James really mad when Tyler catches the first fish. Today Tyler's line hadn't even settled when he caught a big one (by our creek's standards). After that, James was hellbent on catching his own.

6. When a fish is caught, there is elation, chaos, and depending on who caught the fish, some sort of fight about holding it, taking the hook out and throwing it back. Also the occasional 'Can we bring it home? It can live in my aquarium!!' to which I reply 'A plastic storage bin is not exactly an aquarium.' For the record, Tyler will remove his own hooks and wrestle any fish. Katie may come in as the next least-squeamish, and James is hit or miss. Usually he lets the mighty T take it off the hook.

7. After removing the hook, I believe that the treatment the fish receives is somewhat akin to waterboarding or some other equally traumatizing event. The fish is passed around, fought over, examined and if its lucky, flops back in before it gets loved to death.

8. By this point, we have already lost approximately 4 more hooks, 3 sinkers, and a good length of fishing line. Katie has given up fishing, instead amusing herself by being the self-appointed 'bait girl' and baiting the boys' hooks, as well as wading in the water to retrieve various shiny bits.

9. At some point I decide that my good humor is running short and announce that we will be leaving in five minutes.

10. This sets off a fury of "I have to catch one more fish or the world will END!!' They have yet to realize that casting and recasting to get their bait in the perfect spot (you know, 2 inches from where they casted in last time...) does not exactly have much street cred with the fish. I mean, I'm not saying fish are the smartest creatures ever, but I am pretty sure seeing an orange blob jump in and out of the water over and over is not a big selling point.

11. We head home, less half a dozen hooks and a little bit of my sanity. I have yet to figure out how to work a nap in after a fishing trip. Somehow it does not seem to wear them out as it does me! :)

1 comment:

Terry and Linda said...

You are one outstanding Momma!!! My friend!!!