Thursday, August 27, 2009

Differing Thoughts on Motherhood

I stumbled across a blog yesterday looking for crafty tutorials. When I read this, it kind of stuck in my head. I keep thinking about it, and how sad it is:

Currently I am serving time as a full-time homeschooling Mama to two forces of nature known as boys and most days are spent juggling the various brain-draining, soul-destroying, unthanked, unseen, monotonous, boring tasks ensuring other people remain alive and uninfected. When they are asleep I assume my true identity as a human being and craft to my heart's delight!

While I can understand most of it, I feel sad that she thinks that mothering is 'soul-destroying,' and that she can only assume her 'true identity as a human being' when her kids are asleep. It makes me sad because I think that our society sort of creates an environment where women feel that motherhood is not a 'legitimate' career. I'm pretty sure this woman is not the only one who feels that way she does. We have been trained to feel that to 'give up' our 'careers' to become mothers is to trade in something valuable for something of lesser worth. We have bought into the idea that to trade in the 'career' for motherhood is a step down, and that we must just hunker down and press on til our kids go to Kindergarten and only then can we have our 'life' back. Yeah, there are plenty of times I am just pressing on. Some days are long, and brain-draining and some days are boring and monotonous too. Sometimes I envy Jeff's lunch break. Break? What's that? But why do we feel that motherhood is something apart from 'life' or it is not part of our 'human identity'? Being a mom makes me happier than I ever imagined it would. It is my career right now, my life right now, and I don't feel bored. I don't feel as though something is missing from my life. I don't feel de-humanized. Sure, I would like to be able to pee without someone walking in or banging on the door asking 'hey, mama, are you going pee or poop?' (MYOB!!!!), and it would be nice to have a little time to myself every now and then. Even so, motherhood is very fulfilling, even if it does require wiping a thousand butts and trying to entertain small children for hours on end.

The other thing she said that got me was saying her job as a mom was to ensure ' other people remain alive and uninfected.' Dang! If that's all there is to it then I have been working way too hard! ;) Seriously, I guess that might be the reason why motherhood is unfulfilling to her. If I felt that my entire life was devoted to merely keeping my kids alive til the next day, I guess that would be disappointing. If we hold no value in our 'job title,' then how are we supposed to feel fulfilled.


Anonymous said...

That is sad how the mother views her role in motherhood. You are a great mother to your kids and I am excited for when I am able to be at that stage in life..until then I'll just spend time with your kids :)

-con-rachel :)

DayPhoto said...

Well said!