Misc. Shenanigans: Settle In For A Laugh At My Expense! :)

First of all, some noteworthy quotes from the kids recently:

Katie: God is everywhere. He's even in my face right now. (rolls eyes) God, can you please get out of my face for a little while?

Tyler: My grammy's named after a banana.
Me: What??
Tyler: She's named after a banana, because Grammy rhymes with banana. And my middle name is Squatchy. Because I'm funny.

Me: Tyler, I can't believe you're picking your nose!
Tyler: But I'm not gonna eat it.
Me: But still!
Tyler: I said, I'm not gonna eat it. I'm just scraping out my nose. I'm making more room.
Me: (can't argue with that logic...)

Yesterday was a bit....interesting? Katie was really sick, and James woke up with an infected fingernail (disgusting!) and the weird bumps on his face had spread. Three kids home for the day, two of them sick, and a double doctors appointment. Are you jealous yet? While at the doctors I discovered that a) Katie has strep throat, b) James has impetigo and an infected nail, and c) my kids go crazy in a tiny doctors office. There is only so much 'Oh look at the big bee flying outside the window!' that will distract them from repeatedly pushing the foot pedal on the trash can and threatening to handle the sharps container next to the trash. I left with two prescriptions, one lethargic kid, an 8 year old who had managed to lose all his earthly privileges while in the doctor's office, and a 4 year old who wanted to spontaneously run in circles, throwing walnuts while trying to kick his brother. Aaaaaand, the day wasn't over yet. Nope! The fun did not stop there. Oh, no. Our doctor's office is considerably far (which I feel is an even trade since our old office used to keep us waiting for 30+ minutes). All this means it is about 30 minutes each way. We stopped at Target on the way back to get the prescriptions and low and behold, they didn't have James' medication. There was some sort of computer glitch. The folks at Target were very helpful and nice, which saved them from hearing a 'Can you see that I have a very sick girl, a very obnoxious 8 year old and a 4 year old that just wants to go home RIGHT NOW!!!!' tirade from crazy mom. Turns out they put it in under the wrong name. Which made me feel very safe about the medication I was bringing home for my kids...ha! Once it was all ironed out, we got home and Katie passed out on the couch. She was exhausted. In the meantime a friend came over with her niece to have me do a little bit of sewing on her prom dress. This caused the boys for some unknown reason to take their craziness from level 9 to level INSANITY. When things finally settled down, I sat down to eat, at which point someone who will remain nameless, walked up to me nonchalantly and said 'look Mom' at which point I turned to see directly before me some unsavory bits of anatomy that were apparently suffering from dryness. Because I need to see that at dinner. Pass the mashed potatoes, please! Just as nonchalantly, I took care of the situation and went back to eating. Just a little interruption. No biggie. Just a few minutes later, I was interrupted again by the familiar 'MOOOOOOOOOMMM! I neeeeeed you!!!' which I took to be a standard 'Wipe my butt' mission. However, it was less than standard. I arrived at the scene to find Tyler standing there with his buns hanging out playing cars in the sink. He emphatically yelled 'Don't flush the toilet!!' which was the first hint that something was amiss. He then explained to me, via a reenactment sans pants, that he had been playing cars and one flew into the toilet. He finished off his demo by saying 'I guess I should close the lid next time'. Um, yes. That would be nice. I will try to put this delicately, but due to the nature of the output, the car was considerably obscured. It took me several tries to fish it out with a slotted spoon, all the while Tyler wanting patiently pants-less, for me to retrieve his car. I mean, can't we just throw the whole thing away??? But no, he wanted it. So we washed it off, washed him off, washed me off and then I went and hid in the chicken coop. Just kidding, but I should have. Some days are just ridiculous.