Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Crazy Ramblings

I realize the title of this blog post is actually non-specific considering that the offerings herein probably all fall into the 'Crazy Ramblings' category. However, I shall proceed under the current title.

First of all, my is weird. I saw a guy the other day who had a prosthetic leg. My first thought was 'Wow! That's a cool leg! I wonder how it works' followed closely by 'but I bet it isn't so cool for the guy. I wonder why he lost his leg.' And then my brain went into territory I am sure most people's brains never go. I thought to myself 'I wonder how much that guy weighs?' Think about it. You look at someone and think 'That guy must be about 180.' Except I never think that, because I am terrible at estimating weights. 300 pounds? 450? Close enough! But I digress. Let's say you assess the height and build of such a man and determine that he must be in the ballpark of 180. Except for the whole leg thing. How much does the human leg weigh? According to WikiAnswers, which we all know is known to be true some of the time, legs make up 40% of a human's weight. So one leg is 20%. Hypothetically, the guys leg could have weighed upwards of 35 pounds which is roughly the size of Tyler, but for all I know or can estimate, he might weigh 300 pounds. But I'm guessing not. Moving along....

Tyler. He is weird. I have declared him a delicious, adorable little liability. This kid is wild, crazy and 98% fearless. Which is an improvement from his previous record of 110% fearless. Last time we went on a walk on the green belt, he took a flying leap to yank some poison ivy out of the tree. He ran to me with a handful as I yelled for him to drop it. I promptly took him home and scrubbed him down, and amazingly he didn't get a rash. Maybe he is like me with poison oak...impervious. Today, we went for another walk. This time, as we were leaving the creek, he said 'Wait, Mom! I have to get a drink!' As I turned around he had just slurped a big gulpful of water out of the creek. While Katie lectured him about 'you don't know WHO might have peed in the creek!!**' I had visions of giardia, dysentary and all manner of intestinal distress. And it is distressing. Trust me. Mom had giardia for what seemed like forever, and I came down with a fancy case of amoebic dystentary which was quite nightmarish. I am hoping for the best on this one, and reminding myself that I took in more than my share of water from dubious sources as a child and only became horribly ill once. Isn't that a good record?

**Katie...this girl is a nut. I am pretty sure she got the creativity of all her relatives combined and a double dose of the mothering gene. How else could she come up with 'you don't know WHO peed in that water!' on the fly. She didn't skip a beat. But really, does it matter WHO peed in the water? I mean, would you drink it if say, a skunk or your dad peed in it, but not if a stranger peed in it? It maketh no sense, which is good practice for motherhood when you say things like "you'll poke your eye out with that!" and "Your eyes are going to stick that way if you keep going cross-eyed!"

1 comment:

Terry and Linda said...

I love reading about your cute little kids!