Monday, May 07, 2012

Several Orders Of Business

First of all, why do I dread giving my children baths? I mean, isn't spraying them off occasionally with the garden hose good enough? It is dirt season around here, as my freshly mopped floor can attest. (Note: it no longer looks freshly mopped) The kids are quite happy to spend hours a day digging in various sanctioned portions of the yard, and I am mostly happy to oblige. If it keeps them entertained, I'm all for it! But I must confess that if I could harvest the dirt that is clinging to my children right now, as they nap, I could probably start a cabbage patch or something. They are pretty filthy. I even sent them to church yesterday, covered in clean presentable clothing over their dirt streaked legs. Today is the day! Bathe them, I must! It's just that bath time leaves me with muddy footprints on the bathroom floor, which also happens to look like a small tsunami hit it. After which, the children will promptly find a way to besmirch themselves again. Sigh....

Secondly, not to keep harping on this...but TODAY is Jeff's LAST DAY of school EVER!!! After years of people asking 'is he finished yet?' I can finally say yes, he is! I also feel that I should have some sort of honorary degree in Mechanical Engineering for all the years of having him in school. :) The ironic part is, he is getting a degree in something he has been doing for years.

Third, and also Jeff-related. He told me this story the other night and I laughed so hard I cried. He went into the office of his germ-fearing coworker, and had the following one-sided conversation: 'Hey, Dwayne,** have you seen those new scented cakes in the urinals? I really like them. The only thing is, they really bother me when they aren't centered.' (his coworker stares at him) 'Thing is, they are really slippery. I don't know if it's algae growing on them or what, but they are hard to get a hold of.' At that point, his coworker was stunned and stammering his response. I am really thinking I should pin a disclaimer to Jeff's shirt everyday: Warning! Don't take me seriously!

**Name Changed**


Shay said...

We are past the bath years and into showers now, but I feel ya. And it doesn't help that the boys want to put off said shower for as long as possible, oy.

Terry and Linda said...

I have a granddaughter that loves to play in the irrigation ditches and REFUSES TO TAKE a bath.

Kids are made for dirt, it seems!