Tyler Strikes Again

I believe it wasn't too long ago that I was writing about finding a slimy, stinking mess in the kitchen trash. It turned out to be the remains of a frog that Tyler caught and stashed away when we went camping in June. After that, I forbid the capture and detainment of critters. Catch them? Fine. But catch and release it was! For a while. Fast forward to this morning. We were all getting ready for church, and if you have ever attempted to get three kids ready for church, you know it was a bit crazy. Just as we were ready to leave, a smell permeated the house so awful my olfactories will be scarred for life. Again it was Tyler standing there, looking sheepish. Actually, he was smart enough to remove himself from the general vicinity of the stank before reporting the incident. Turns out, Tyler had finally found his long-lost film canister, the one he was so afraid he has lost on our camping trip. He had used it to store a few clams and snails, for whatever reasons a five year old keeps clams and snails. After they marinated in that canister for a week, let me tell you, it was RANK! Offensive! Disturbing! Putrid! All this from a pile of sand and goo the size of a quarter. I removed the offending mess, leaving off the Hazmat suit only because I do not own one. No Hazmat suit?! I get an F for preparedness. After spraying everything in the general vicinity with cleaner, I told Tyler to wash his hands, and we all got in the car. Me, James, Katie, Tyler and the STINK. It came with us. It became obvious within 2.4 seconds that Tyler had merely rinsed his hands and hadn't bothered with that overrated stuff we call soap. I gave him some flowerly lotion, hoping it would cover up the smell until we got to church. It didn't. In fact, it was so bad that Tyler rode the whole way there with his hands held out, fingers spread, so as not to contaminate anything. Due to all the commotion, we were late to church and missed a parking spot. Yep, we would have to ride the shuttle. It was just us, and oh, like 8 other people in the shuttle bus. A friend on the bus asked Tyler to give him a high five and I told him there was no way he wanted a high five from Tyler. He kind of looked puzzled, and said OK, so I explained and everyone laughed. We got to the church and immediately scrubbed the kid down with actual soap. Fortunately, it made a big difference and a bath later got rid of any residual stink. Moral of the story? I don't even know. Don't keep clams in film canisters, people.