Hey There, Puddin'

Occasionally someone stops me and tells me how they always wish they had curly hair. I think this is part of the 'grass is always greener' syndrome. In high school, I used to want straight hair so bad. Then I gave up and decided that people actually pay to have curly hair, and mine came for free so I might as well like it. The problem with curly hair is that every single morning I look like Tina Turner after a fight with a Flowbee. If I don't put copious amounts of mousse in it each day, my hair turns from the aforementioned disaster into something of Lion King-like proportions. Recently it dawned on me that...duh!!! I should try out the products in the 'ethnic' section. When I was at Walmart, I perused the ethnic section and found that the clientele apparently like their hair products to sound like food. After perusing such products as Hair Mayo, I settled upon a tub o' Hair Pudding. No joke. And the thing is, it works! I am a new fan of the Puddin'. It even comes with an awesome disclaimer that says 'Hair is flammable. Hair is even more flammable with product in it. Avoid flames.' Thank you, hair pudding, for that timeless advice. From here on out, I promise not to tuck a lit cigarette behind my ear, or try to curl my hair with a red-hot poker.