Wednesday, December 25, 2013


I have about 8 minutes til the Benadryl I took kicks in, so this post should go from bad to worse by the end. I seem to be having a rash of hilariously dicey conversations with the kids as of late. About a week and a half ago I was tucking James into bed and he made a comment about a penis, mine specifically. What?! I informed him in no uncertain terms that indeed women do NOT possess a dangling participle, thank the good Lord. He was puzzled and said 'Well, girls do but its flat.' Um, yeah. I told him that it had a different name, which led to the obvious 'well what is it called then?' as he giggled with his adorable grin. Doh! It occurred to me in that moment that IF I were to give him the name of the anatomy in question, I would likely hear it about 376 times before the novelty wore off. I may have learned that when I was all 'they might as well know the correct term' and taught them the word testicles. James actually declared in front of friends: "Look, Mom! There is the sheep with the giant testicles!" It was at that point that our friends looked at us in horror and forbade their precious children to associate with my heathen children ever again. Or something like that. Because of this, I decided that I wasn't ready to spill the beans and told him I would think about telling him but not that night. This led to a variety of guesses which combined the two facts he had determined: it was a penis, and it was flat. His guesses included penuflat, crap-nis (because hello...pee-nis?), poopulus, flatulus, and...wait for it.....flatipus. With no sense of the irony of that one. In case you are wondering, no, I was not able to maintain a straight face. And at this point, it would be a tragedy to actually tell him because my source of entertainment would be gone. Today, however, brought the advent of an awesome development in the case. Uncle Phil is here and brings with him all manner of rough-housing and Nerf wars. I went upstairs to get something and Phil accidentally shot me, in the know. He yelled "Oh, I just shot you in the flapjack!" and you could see the light bulb turn on in James' brain. He exclaimed "Uncle Phil just told me what its called!!!!!"  .....Nice.


Erin said...

OMG I'm dying with laughter right now. Sooooo hilarious.

Terry and Linda said...

WONDERFUL!!! Here is hoping 2014 is just a good as 2013 has been!

¸.•*¨*•♪♫♫♪HAPPY NEW YEAR ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥