Newspapers and Broccoli: Quotes and Misquotes

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Quotes and Misquotes

The kids have said some doozies lately and I feel like they need to be written down for posterity:

T: (very excited) Mom! The vampire squid lives in the midnight zone which is like 500 kilopeters deep!

T: Back in the Civilutionary war....

T: (doing his biz-ness in the bathroom) Mom, I don't know what my internal systems are doing, but they're doing something!

And the latest misheard song lyrics:

Katie thought that Michael Jackson was singing "Willard, Willllllllllard!" instead of "Thriller, thrilllller!" haha

I can't remember which kid(s) thought this, but the song "Safety Dance" where it says "You can dance if you wanna, we can leave your friends behind" they thought it was "you can dance if you wanna, you can leave your pants behind". And now that we've had a good laugh they like to take that song literally when it comes on and dance in their underpants.

And the latest: the song "Funkytown" came on and Tyler got it stuck in his head. Expect he had the words wrong. Instead of "Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it..." he sang "Taco body, taco body, taco body..." over and over for half an hour.

1 comment:

Phillip and Rachel said...: I love that he sang "Taco body"...that cracks me up!; 6:37 AM

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Kids Commentary!!

T: I wanna make it just like the one Grammy got in Methlehem.

T: James, if you keep practicing your bow and arrow, you can get really good at it and be an Indian when you grow up. Indians are really interesting.

K: (to Chappy) You should enter a contest for Crazy, because you'd probably win.

T: I have two friends who are twins, Wi-wee and Wee-uh. But they aren't attached. Remember we watched a show about that?

T: Uh, Mom...problem! I can't poop because I didn't eat enough food.

J: Don't bring those blankets Mom. I germinated them. (meaning he coughed all over them when he was sick)

T: (after seeing a very short man) I thought he was a kid, but he is not. He is the most medium sized dad I have ever seen.

T: Chocolate is my favorite color. (that's my boy!!!)

K: Mom, come look at my hair! It looks like Justin Beaver!

K: I don't like peaches. The fur gets on my skin and makes me itchy.

T: I almost cried (on the first day of school) but then I didn't hear a peep from my tears. They are right behind my eyes, right Mama?

T: I made a best friend at school!

Me: Great! What's his name?

T: I don't know.

J: This place is like Disney Land for flies. (under the food tent at the Grange Fair)

Me: Look for the inflatable cow.

T: That's debatable, and you need an air compressor to blow it up.

T: I got a hosta leaf for my beetle!

Me: That's actually a morning glory leaf.

K: What'd you expect, an afternoon leaf?

T: I need a boy purse. It needs to have two pockets, one for cash, one for money. That's the idea. Yep!

K: Cash and money are the same thing. The paper stuff, and the metal circles are all money.

T: (sitting on his throne...aka the toilet) Mom, I'm gonna tell you what I want for my birthday, and I hope it doesn't cost too much bucks.

J: (playing the card game 'War' with himself) Hey, so far I'm winning!

Me: You're playing against yourself, of course you're winning.

J: Well, this pile is the one that is winning.

T: (watching Yukon Men) I could catch a wolverine someday when I'm a grown up, right mama? I would just make it a whole bunch of cookies for it, and then a few hours later when it is eating the cookies I would sneak up on it and shoot it.

T: Lefty loosey, tighty righty. I got that from Chappy.

K: Now where are you, Mr. Mushroom? I have an appointment with you! To smush you!

Me: Here are two beautiful egg-in-a-holes, James.

J: Well, they are beautiful but I wouldn't put them down in the record books or anything.

J: Mom, I have pimples.

Me: What? You don't have pimples.

J: See, these!

Me: Those are nipples, not pimples.

K: Auntie Rachel made my belly button.

Me: Why do you say that?

K: Because she put a clothespin on it.

Me: Oh, yeah, she did cut your umbilical cord.

K: Yeah, she really loves me.

T: I can't eat these (banana chips). They're gonna pull my teeth out of my head.

T: My feet are yawning. I need to rest.

Me: You're cute, Squatch!

T: You're cute too, with your big toes, and your big melon.

T: (calling me from his bed) Hey, snuggle-muffin! Come snuggle with me!

J: If I ever dig to the middle of the earth, you need to send me 150 sandwiches. No, I think 200.

K: When I grow up I am going to own a pig. That way I can have fresh bacon every day.