Why don't you just get a public defender and spend the money on something better?
T: I wanna make it just like the one Grammy got in Methlehem.
T: James, if you keep practicing your bow and arrow, you can get really good at it and be an Indian when you grow up. Indians are really interesting.
K: (to Chappy) You should enter a contest for Crazy, because you'd probably win.
T: I have two friends who are twins, Wi-wee and Wee-uh. But they aren't attached. Remember we watched a show about that?
T: Uh, Mom...problem! I can't poop because I didn't eat enough food.
J: Don't bring those blankets Mom. I germinated them. (meaning he coughed all over them when he was sick)
T: (after seeing a very short man) I thought he was a kid, but he is not. He is the most medium sized dad I have ever seen.
T: Chocolate is my favorite color. (that's my boy!!!)
K: Mom, come look at my hair! It looks like Justin Beaver!
K: I don't like peaches. The fur gets on my skin and makes me itchy.
T: I almost cried (on the first day of school) but then I didn't hear a peep from my tears. They are right behind my eyes, right Mama?
T: I made a best friend at school!
Me: Great! What's his name?
T: I don't know.
J: This place is like Disney Land for flies. (under the food tent at the Grange Fair)
Me: Look for the inflatable cow.
T: That's debatable, and you need an air compressor to blow it up.
T: I got a hosta leaf for my beetle!
Me: That's actually a morning glory leaf.
K: What'd you expect, an afternoon leaf?
T: I need a boy purse. It needs to have two pockets, one for cash, one for money. That's the idea. Yep!
K: Cash and money are the same thing. The paper stuff, and the metal circles are all money.
T: (sitting on his throne...aka the toilet) Mom, I'm gonna tell you what I want for my birthday, and I hope it doesn't cost too much bucks.
J: (playing the card game 'War' with himself) Hey, so far I'm winning!
Me: You're playing against yourself, of course you're winning.
J: Well, this pile is the one that is winning.
T: (watching Yukon Men) I could catch a wolverine someday when I'm a grown up, right mama? I would just make it a whole bunch of cookies for it, and then a few hours later when it is eating the cookies I would sneak up on it and shoot it.
T: Lefty loosey, tighty righty. I got that from Chappy.
K: Now where are you, Mr. Mushroom? I have an appointment with you! To smush you!
Me: Here are two beautiful egg-in-a-holes, James.
J: Well, they are beautiful but I wouldn't put them down in the record books or anything.
J: Mom, I have pimples.
Me: What? You don't have pimples.
J: See, these!
Me: Those are nipples, not pimples.
K: Auntie Rachel made my belly button.
Me: Why do you say that?
K: Because she put a clothespin on it.
Me: Oh, yeah, she did cut your umbilical cord.
K: Yeah, she really loves me.
T: I can't eat these (banana chips). They're gonna pull my teeth out of my head.
T: My feet are yawning. I need to rest.
Me: You're cute, Squatch!
T: You're cute too, with your big toes, and your big melon.
T: (calling me from his bed) Hey, snuggle-muffin! Come snuggle with me!
J: If I ever dig to the middle of the earth, you need to send me 150 sandwiches. No, I think 200.
K: When I grow up I am going to own a pig. That way I can have fresh bacon every day.
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